The Non-Definitive Guide To Life

If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with rain" - Dolly Parton

Posts for love story


ADVENTURES, READ - February 14, 2018

It’s been a little over a month since I went to my last Moth StorySlam and I am jonesing for a fix. I miss the energy of the room, hearing people’s stories, wondering if my name will be called. I knew when I decided to attend a few night classes that meant I would have to put the Moth aside for a few months, and I knew I would miss it, I just wasn’t expecting how much and so fast.

In honor of Valentine’s Day, I’m sharing the second to last Moth StorySlam story I prepared before my little hiatus. The topic of the night was “Obsession” and many girls and women graced the stage to talk about their romantic obsessions. And I would have felt lame if my story was exactly like theirs, except mine, wasn’t about my romantic obsession, but the other girl who was equally obsessed with him.



click to read the story

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CA: French Fried Artichokes & Pumpkin Carving


Pezinni Farms Artichokes

Like I shared before, I have no idea how I’m going to organize all my tales from the road. So let’s just throw chronological order out the window and go with ‘what Bekka feels like writing about today’ order.

October 25, 2015 | Day 10

On our way up to San Francisco, we passed by a road side sign that said ‘french fried artichokes’. Being a connoisseur of french fries and a lover of artichokes, we put the farm on our list of things to hit up on our way back down. While on the road, because of time constraints, there tends to be a lot of “leave it for the drive home” decisions – this was one of them. We wrote down the name Pezzini Farms and on our last day of the road trip looked up the farm.

I wasn’t expecting much but was still blown away by the adorable farmer general store they had set up. Jars of jams, jellies, and local honey lined one of the walls; adjacent was a wall filled with fresh chopped garlic, sundried tomatoes and sauces for pasta or dipping artichokes. I squealed at the rustic signs for brussel sprouts and artichokes, I couldn’t get over how country chic and pinterest-y it all was!

Pezzini Farms Adventure

Pezzini Farms Adventure

Pezzini Farms Adventure (5)

We ordered our french fried artichokes, which actually look nothing like french fries, but are battered and fried artichoke hearts. They gave us a delicious garlic aioli for dipping, and I even came up with a technique for enjoying them. At first I popped a whole one in my mouth and wasn’t that impressed. I couldn’t taste any of the artichoke. But the second time, I decided to savor the bite more and actually took bites of the heart. I don’t know if it’s because the artichoke became exposed to oxygen or something, but suddenly I could taste more of the artichoke and I really enjoyed it.

After our roadside snack, I enthusiastically decided we should pick up some pumpkins. They had a very tiny display, but Bowerbird and I have never carved pumpkins together. Given that it’s the week of Halloween and we would be arriving home that night, why not squish some squash in our trunk. (oh the puns!)

Pezzini Farms Adventure

We picked out our perfect pumpkins, mine is oval and smooth, his has a lot of character; tonight we are carving them up! Hence, me wanting to post about how we acquired our pumpkins. I can’t stress enough how wonderful it is to follow a roadside sign and see where you end up. I had no idea what these french fried artichokes would be, but it lead us to the most delightful market. We also purchased a large jar of yummy raw honey and three artichokes that I steamed last night. It was my first time steaming artichokes, the idea of it and instructions are much more difficult than the actual execution.

Well, I’m off to carve a pumpkin, eat pizza, and watch Lincoln. I love how our first pumpkin carving experience now has a romantic story attached to it – we picked them out on the side of the road amongst fields of artichokes on our engagement road trip. I can see Keanu Reeves being cast as Bowerbird and the movie poster looking something similar to A Walk in the Clouds.

Pezzini Farms Adventure

Pezzini Farms Adventure

Pezzini Farms Adventure

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Love Story: Engaged at The Castle In The Sky – Hearst Castle


On top of San Siemon rests the most gorgeous home in the world, Hearst Castle. As art and words inspire my life, Hearst Castle is like two passions coming together in an architectural dream. I’ve been in love with this castle in the sky since I was a child and visited it with my mom and sister. I took Bowerbird to it for the first time 2 and half years ago. We had been dating for 9 months and wanted a romantic Monterey getaway, so Hearst was on the way. Now we are on our third road trip, this time dedicated to the Pacific North West, and stopped at Hearst yesterday. If I’m going on the 1, you know I’m stopping at my favorite place, it’s better than Disneyland!! Now this dream place is deeply intertwined into my own dreamy romance, as Bowerbird proposed to me on top of a high balcony peak overlooking the ocean.

When we first were dropped off at the top of the hill it started to rain, Bowerbird was majorly bummed out as the little drops of water came sprinkling down a top of our head. We went on our tour of the upstairs suites where Hearst has a library that would make Bell blush. Yes, I’m referencing that amazing scene in Beauty and the Beast where the Beast give bell the most beautiful library in animated history. But once the tour was over, the sky was bright blue and sun shining!  It wasn’t very busy yesterday and I was able to take dozens of pictures with no other tourist in site. We explored the side of one of the guest cottages and I could feel Bowerbird’s energy shift. He was getting anxious and looking around us trying to find the perfect spot. Every time he tried to get extra romantic it seemed another tourist popped up, like they were all swarming to this side of the property at once.We kept climbing stairs to another empty spot and then another group of tourist came up. This is what led us to the very highest point on the side of one of the Hearst cottages. It was an area that one would have to make an extra effort to find and Bowerbird was making a very private romantic effort.

He pulled me in tight and remarked how this had been the best three years of his life. Then as he placed his hand in his pocket and pulled out my *Bachan’s ring, he got on one knee and asked me to marry him. I said “of course,” because I’ve known Bowerbird is the man I would marry after only three months of dating. After our first date, I thought he could be the one. Our love story has always been about timing and his timing couldn’t be more perfect.

I then overheard a tour guide explaining how couples get engaged. As we were on the balcony of the cottage, a tour group was inside exploring one of the rooms and as they passed by on the other side of a screen door – they clapped and said congratulations.

Now we’re off to San Fransico today and I begin my first full day as an engaged woman! I couldn’t be happier as we go on to our next adventure in our life together.

Hearst Castle Engagement

Hearst Castle Engagement

Engagement at Hearst Castle

Stairway to heaven!

Bowerbird and I are on a road trip across the Pacific North West, follow our adventure on instagram or twitter!  #ontheroad1015

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SNAIL MAIL - June 22, 2013

Bowerbird and I hit our one year anniversary this month. He is my one and yes he is saving up for a ring. But what makes it monumental for me, aside from finding the love of my life is he is my first love. I’ve never been in love before, and he agrees that he thinks I’m his first love. {Although he did think he was in love with other ladies in the past, I won’t hold that against him}

My relationship history is less than stellar, the break down is as follows. There have been a dozen guys I was only with for 30 days. {The 30 Days Curse} One bore of a relationship that lasted three months. It was one of my first relationships and although two months in it was begging to end, I tried to hold on to it with WAY more strength than it deserved. Fast forward to 3 years and I met the boyfriend before Bowerbird. The relationship was a learning experience to say the least. Sadly it was dysfunctional, unhealthy, and although he had bad news written all over him I chose to ignore it. Distracted by own things going on at the time, I was focused on building my professional career and continuing my life in the art world. Distraction which fortunately were protecting me from getting consumed by his darkness. We were together for six months. Six months of red flags and excuses. At the end of it, I left with a few emotional scars, but I’d like to say I’m a fast learner and created a laundry list of things I DIDN”T WANT and MUST HAVE in a relationship.

Then fast forward 8 months and I met Bowerbird and that love story…well you can sort of read about it in the past blog post. Now a year later we are still together and incredibly happy. The key to our happiness? Not sure, but we sure do communicate really well with each other. Everything is transparent and I tell him exactly why I am acting a certain way or feeling a certain way. There is no guessing games or mind reading expectations. Our love is easy, being his girlfriend is really easy and him being my boyfriend is super easy too. Also, although I might be crazy sometimes and he can be too; we seem to work it out in a really healthy way. {Get the barf bag ready} We have still yet to fight.

I wasn’t sure what I wanted to write about today. A lot has been going on in June with my health and mini revelations about the great friends I have in my life. And I want to share it all! But felt like explaining where Bowerbird and I are in a relationship was the best way to start.

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It all TERRIFYS ME, I’m just a silly scaredy cat!

SNAIL MAIL - June 20, 2012

I’m dating a boy! Well more of a man, he is a decade older than me after all. But the same guy I wrote about months ago, in my I Like You post, the one I texted at Coachella in my moment of clarity. Well I wrote him this letter, after a very long story that I’ll keep mostly to myself, but that letter changed everything. And now, for the first time, a guy that I thought I had no chance with; well we are actually dating. We are enamored and smitten. Last Friday we went to see Pisces together (see below video) and I was nervous he wouldn’t like the music, so he wouldn’t want to go. BUT GUESS WHAT! He was open to going to the show, pay to go to this show of a band he didn’t know, and all because he knew I wanted to go cause I wanted to dance.

Yeah, I have some bad habits to unlearn, or bad expectations. It’s interesting how we can so easily be trained to expect the worst, when it’s supposed to be normal for a fella to WANT to go to things his gal. Wants to go REGARDLESS if he really wants to or not, but go because he gets to spend time with his gal. There are a list of things I don’t ever want to feel again when it comes to matters of the heart, like the hot burn of off and on rejection. Happily I don’t think I’ll be feeling rejected, no not from him, not like that.

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I LIKE YOU! *updated 5/5/12

SNAIL MAIL - April 18, 2012

One of my favorite movies is Elizabethtown. I can’t really describe why I love it so much, except that it gives me a feeling of home and I really relate to Claire. There is a part in the film where Claire goes and says, “I LIKE YOU” to Drew. Her exclamation is the same feeling I get when I meet someone I like, I just want to yell “I LIKE YOU!”. And even after I stop talking to that person but still think they are awesome, I want to say I LIKE YOU!

But I don’t say I LIKE YOU, because I need to be wanted and with someone who wants to be with me. I need the second scene in the movie, actually I need the last scene in the movie. Actually I need a whole other romantic movie scene because Claire totally drives the relationship in Elizabethtown, which I tend to do, and it ALWAYS ends up bad (in my life story).

Looking for my own love story, hoping it will happen someday….

(5/5/12: correction the I Like You scene happened before this scene (YouTube Video Below). Update: I did tell the guy who inspired this post that I liked him. I actually just said (texted) “I Like You” while watching Mazzy Star at Coachella. A few days later I elaborated and really gave it to him, telling him how fantastic I think he is. Still with no expectation anything will ever come of it, and still with the need to be wanted and pursued, but I thought he should know how amazing I think he is.)

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