The Non-Definitive Guide To Life

If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with rain" - Dolly Parton

Posts for inspiration

Caught In a Wave of Inspiration

SNAIL MAIL - February 14, 2017

“We Plan, God Laughs” – Yiddish Proverb

Dan is currently making popcorn and we are going to spend the evening together, so I’ll make this short. I have all these inspired ideas this week for Valentine’s Day and tonight as I go to execute one of them in an attempt to upload it tomorrow morning, I realize I won’t be able to film until tomorrow morning. Unfortunately, my light set up just won’t illuminate my scene the way I imagined. So I have to shelf those plans until the sun rises and instead surrender to a romantic evening with Dan. Aww shucks! 

So what is this wave of inspiration? I have three ideas for videos this week… 

  1. A stop motion animation of a few of the cards Dan and I have given each other over the years. We are suckers for romantic stationary.
  2.  A few recipes using Moon Juices’s Sex Dust powder, “a lusty edible formula to ignite and excite sexy energy in and out of the bedroom.”
  3. A Q&A video with Dan and I – now I don’t even know if I have an audience interested enough in my relationship or love life to ask questions, but if you’re curious ask by Wednesday!

Even though I have mounting work demands and a rewrite of chapter one of my young adult novel on my plate, I feel I’m caught in a wave of inspiration I must ride. Until tomorrow, I hope you’re having a lovely Galentines or Palentines!


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Self-Love Sunday

HEALTH & WELLNESS - April 3, 2016

In February, I learned how precious my Sundays’ are after handing them over to help friends and family. Not that I resent the time I spent helping others, but I noticed how grumpy and stressed I was throughout the week because I hadn’t reserved any time for myself to recharge. Now I treat my Sundays’ like precious jewels and really ponder if I want to hand it over to someone else.

This morning I was the laziest of sloths, in my pajamas till noon and barely changing into a comfy chambray shirt and bicycle shorts because I wanted to feel slightly more put together. My hair is wild and a pile of laundry is at the edge of my bed waiting to be folded. I’ve put on a rose mask from Fresh (a free birthday treat from Sephora) and filled my room with the delicious scent of a Voluspa Goji Tarocco Orange candle. And to really set the mood, the soothing folky voices of First Aid Kit is the soundtrack to my very lazy self-love Sunday.

As Bowerbird headed off to work he remarked how relaxed I looked and I really am relaxed. Trust that my to-do list is sitting in my office with unchecked boxes and my inbox with unanswered email. But I’m giving myself permission to take today just for myself. I’m headed to Coachella for two weekends where I won’t have my blessed self-love Sundays. I will be cramming in clients between festival days and prepping all next week to make sure the record store inventory is at least 90% in – progress not perfection. And if you saw the order sheets you’d understand why I have to comfort myself with that mantra. So today is just for me, drinking Stress Ease tea and munching on chocolate eggs that my fella surprised me with.

self love treatments

For a while, I’ve been toying with the idea of posting more inspirational, spiritual, or self-love type of posts on Sundays. My own version of Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday. As I recharge physically and mentally preparing for the week ahead, it could be a way of sharing the lessons I’ve learned that week or even just interesting articles I’ve discovered. I’m currently on a 100-day challenge where I have several goals I’m focusing on every day for the next 100 days. Today is day 13! I’ve also been Periscoping every day of this challenge and have been having some really great discussion there.

Earlier this week when I really didn’t want to Periscope, I was blessed to have two people on the scope who were really engaged in the conversation and we discussed burn-out, showing up for yourself, and the sacredness of our “me time.” I had no idea that my bleh Periscope was going to be so transformative, but those two women changed my night and mindset. So in-line with that particular scope, I am owning the sacredness of this me time.

So, who knows what post I’ll have for you next Sunday but right now I’m going to hit publish and get back to reading my Darling Magazine. Eventually, I’ll get around to my laundry and cleaning the house – but right now, right now I’m going to be totally content with some self-indulgent self-LOVE.

in bed relaxing

*The hyperlinked products in this post are for the readers convenience and are not attached to affiliate links. 

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INTERVIEWS - March 4, 2016

One Thursday a few weeks ago as I was getting ready for work and was butchering the song “Rapture” by Blondie in my head and thought of the lyric, “Fab Five Freddy.” Now as I was butchering the song, the lyrics that followed (in my head) were fresh is fresh, fab and cool. Then it hit me, I should mico-interview five fab people and post it on Fridays! And this is where the idea for Fab 5 Friday was born.

Introducing five fab creative, brilliant, and bright people who are willing to share a few of their secrets to the freshest, coolest, most awesome things that light up their world. I hope these mico-interviews inspire your next adventure or a chill night in, and most of all – encourage you to look at your world little differently.

cheers to a fab friday!

JACUB GAGNON / Toronto, Canada | Jacub’s a wicked talented artist who paints with whimsy, creating compositions centered around animals and everyday objects to create a unique artistic fantasy.
Where would you recommend everyone visit at least once in their life?
Your local animal shelter. If you’re considering adding a new furry member to your family there are an abundance of lovable animals out there that could use your support, compassion, and a loving home.

Best “hole in the wall _______” you’ve discovered? (it can be bar, restaurant, store, club etc…)
Pizzeria O’ Scugnizzo is a tiny, off-the-beaten-path pizzeria in Florence Italy and it is amazing. A local favorite run by two brothers from Naples with a passion for great zza – it will blow your socks off (poof!).

Favorite comfort food, is it homemade or at a certain place?
Poutine, hands down! Cheese curd is abundant in Ontario, so it’s definitely a comfort of home. When my wife and I make it ourselves, all the more special.

Do you have an awesome book or documentary recommendation to share?
I’m a bit of a fantasy book nerd myself. There seem to be more and more of them these days with Marvel topping the box office and Game of Thrones transitioning from paperback to HBO. A couple series I’m in the midst of are The King Killer Chronicles by Patrick Rothfuss (which is apparently also making it’s way to the big screen) and The Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson. Definitely worth checking out if you haven’t and are a fan of the genre.

Pass on the love and give a fab shout-out to someone we should know about?
Shout out to Megan MacDonald from Toronto, Ontario. We have a big painting of hers in our living room. If you like cats or dreamy unicorns, definitely check out her work!


When I was a kid I collected rocks. Now I collect pins. I guess not much has changed 😹💥💋💗

A photo posted by Heather >> How To Be Fancy 💌 (@howtobefancy) on

HEATHER W. of  HOW TO BE FANCY / Oklahoma | Heather shares her creative and positive voice on YouTube discussing ways to embrace your style, fab product reviews so you’re not duped, and her expert makeup artist advice. A southern belle with unicorn hair, Heather advocates for confidence and fun.

Where would you recommend everyone visit at least once in their life?
No other place I’ve visited is quite like New York City. It’s weird and dirty and magical. Even if you’re not a “city person”, I think NYC is a place everyone should experience at least once.

Best “hole in the wall____” you’ve discovered? (it can be bar, restaurant, store, club etc…)
There’s a little German/Euro diner close to me called Ingrid’s that makes THE BEST pastries and cookies. On Saturday mornings’ they sometimes have a group of older jazz musicians and the sweetest couples go there to dance. It’s amazing and pretty much makes me cry every time, haha!

Favorite comfort food, is it homemade or at a certain place?
If I’m not feeling well, mashed potatoes (from anywhere, really) will usually do the trick. If that doesn’t work, a bowl of pho or ramen is the next best thing!

Do you have an awesome book or documentary recommendation to share?
I am totally addicted to watching documentaries! A few favorites are Iris, Girl Rising, and Design is One.

Pass on the love and give a fab shout-out to someone we should know about?
If you’re into quirky little adventures, I recently discovered a newer YouTube channel by Kat Marie ( She’s gorgeous and loves to visit and film interesting places.


LAUREN ELIZABETH WALSH  / Austin, TX | Lauren is on a mission to help women turn their wounds into wisdom; helping to guide them through spiritual strengthening and healing. Currently, she is working with to organize a global sisterhood for International Woman’s Day.  The voiceover for the above video was written and spoken by Lauren.

Where would you recommend everyone visit at least once in their life?
I recommend going to the rain forest of brazil… deep diving inwardly and seeing what they discover about themselves surrounded by trees and indigenous culture.

Best “hole in the wall____” you’ve discovered? (it can be bar, restaurant, store, club etc…)
Hmmm… it’s not exactly a hole in the wall, it’s a trailer in Austin, Tx called Picnik – they serve awesome paleo coffee, bone broth, and treats!  I’m addicted.

Favorite comfort food, is it homemade or at a certain place?
always chocolate. just good old 80% cacao!

Do you have an awesome book or documentary recommendation to share?
YES!  The surrender experiment by Micheal A. Singer. Totally changed my life by teaching me to trust in the miraculous flow of life’s events. I stopped trying to control everything because I was scared. Life’s river is flowing, and these days I’m trusting it to lead me to an even better place than I could have imagined.

Pass on the love and give a fab shout-out to someone we should know about?
Giving a shout to Emma Claire Juniper. My partner for Unify Global Sisterhood, and an Emotional Mastery and Authentic Confidence Coach & Transformational Retreat Facilitator


JAMIE B of JAMIE B INTERIORS / Los Angeles, CA | Jamie is a talented designer, she has the Midas touch for creating mid-century modern inspired decor without turning a room into the set of Mad Men. She’s recently expanded her titles to include floral designer too. No longer keeping her talent for arrangements all to herself! You can view it all on her website.

Where would you recommend everyone visit at least once in their life?
I feel like I should say something like The Nile or Tuscany but I whole heartedly believe everyone should visit Joshua Tree National Park. It’s like a real life Dr. Seuss acid trip. The desert nights are magic, like none other. I may be a little bias because it’s the perfect two hour escape from LA, and if you live in LA an escape is exactly what you need from time to time.

Best “hole in the wall____” you’ve discovered? (it can be bar, restaurant, store, club etc…)
Its not exactly a “hole in the wall” it is however a restaurant AND a store. It’s called The Little Jewel of New Orleans, very fitting because it is; a jewel, in China Town. This cat named Marcus, a native of the true LA (Louisiana) ships in bread from Nola and creates the best Poboy sandwiches around. The store offers everything Louisiana you can imagine from soda, candy, hot sauce, to cans of Cafe Du Monde’ coffee. The onion rings are bomb too.

Favorite comfort food, is it homemade or at a certain place?
My husband is an extraordinary cook and makes this Mac-n-cheese that will make you weep with joy and total regret at the same time. And I hate to give up this particular secret, but it’s really not fair to keep… There’s this pizza joint in Brentwood called Lamonica’s, it’s not on the menu but you can go in and ask to purchase their dough. It’s like 3 bucks or something crazy cheap. It comes in a rock hard frozen ball, transported from The Big Apple (I think only people NOT from NY actually say Big Apple) where it’s made with New York City’s finest tap water. Amazing. So you let it sit out for at least 8 hours before cooking it. Basically, any kind of pizza you make on this dough will be incredible but my #1 hit is wild mushroom, caramelized onions with gruyere and manchego, fresh thyme and black truffle salt. YUMMMMAY! Those are my two favorite comfort foods.

Do you have an awesome book or documentary recommendation to share?
Have you ever read a book so good that you go into a depression and take a sabbatical from reading altogether because you don’t think anything can top it? Well, that happened to me when I read The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt. I’m still recovering. I’m a documentary-aholic so there are so many that have made such an impact on me but the first that came to mind was Muscle Shoals. It’s about a recording studio in Alabama run by the brilliant Rick Hall, some of the greatest musicians and records of all time emerged from that place. It’s a must see.

Pass on the love and give a fab shout-out to someone we should know about?
My friend Jessica Kelley is a rad jewelry designer. You can find her work at


ARIEL MARTE of LARK & LAVENDER PHOTOGRAPHY  / Long Beach, CA | Ariel is breaking the mold and expectations of wedding photography. Capturing the excitement and bliss that is wrapped up in one’s wedding day, she steals moments with her camera like Oliver Twist or better yet a secret agent, call her the James Bond of photography.

Where would you recommend everyone visit at least once in their life?
The island of Santorini, Greece- it’s a crescent shape island with a smaller volcano across the water from it, you can take a boat to the volcano and jump out into the ocean to swim to the volcano island, from there, you can hike a bit to the top and then go back to swim in the volcano hot spring where the ocean meets the shore – the water there is red and sulfuric but it’s quite an exhilarating. The rest of the main island has amazing white, black and red sand beaches, great snorkeling, flaming cheese, history around every corner, views from any part of the island.

Best “hole in the wall____” you’ve discovered? (it can be bar, restaurant, store, club etc…)
Every Friday night at a jazz club in Chinatown (Los Angeles), there’s Club Underground… Maybe a little more known that I realize, but it always feels like it’s the most “underground” thing, with punk music, obscure 80s rock and not the typical dance music. The underlit dancefloor is intimate but can feel like it’s there just for me.

Favorite comfort food, is it homemade or at a certain place?
Taco Salad is my favorite to make at home, especially on a hot night, when cooking makes the house too hot. As a vegetarian, I use faux ground meat crumbles (Morningstar is the best!) with taco seasoning and it makes it just like when I was a kid. Sour cream the perfect dressing but in a pinch mayo will do. I love that every salad could be a little different but still amazing.

Do you have an awesome book or documentary recommendation to share?
I’ve been obsessed with the “Welcome to Nightvale” podcast which tells the news about the strange Southwest town hosted by Cecil Baldwin. Recently the “Welcome to Nightvale” book came out, it delves deeper into the town where a dog park is haunted, cats float in bathrooms and the glow cloud that looms over the town needs your praise.

Pass on the love and give a fab shout-out to someone we should know about?
One of my upcoming brides, Jeaneen Carlino! She paints strong women who are bold, graphic and daring – she paints the kind of woman I aim to be.

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Jelly Bean Perspective

HEALTH & WELLNESS - February 24, 2016

I came across the Jelly Bean “The Time You Have” video this morning and rewatched it. It was originally published in 2013. At that time I was at a toxic job, with no savings in my bank account for a grand adventure I wanted to take, my foot was half-way in multiple side projects, and the only thing that sparkled was the fact I had met the man of my dreams.

I watched this video and it hit me like a ton of bricks (as I’m sure it does a lot of people) and made me re-evaluate my life. I started to leave the office on my lunch breaks and read out in the courtyard. I fully committed to the book I was writing with my sister (that is finished and being pitched to agents). Nine months after this video was published, I started saving for my cross-country road trip, changing how I treated money to make that dream happen. The video changed me.

But now as I rewatch it I noticed something I didn’t see before. As the narrator breaks down the days of our lives into eating, chores, community responsibilities, and grooming; I don’t view that time as wasted but now see it as opportunities for discovery. Walking the dog isn’t wasted time, but the chance to connect with your partner or enjoy fresh air. Community responsibilities like attending church are those peaceful reflective moments one gets to have for themselves, check in with their spiritual self and feel rooted to carry on through rough storms. Showering is my everyday spa experience; I add a few essential oils to the shower steam and massage my head during the rinse and repeat process. Somedays eating is just quick and purely fuel, but other days it’s an exciting opportunity to try a new restaurant, recipe, or enjoy my favorite comfort food.

All those jelly beans made into cute pictures before the giant question mark box are portrayed as wasted time or days, time that is reserved only for those activities. But what the video fails to illuminate is that during those times you are still able to connect and discover. You are still able to live life the way you want!

When Marie Forleo  was on Super Soul Sunday she told Oprah how she believes life isn’t about following one passion, but putting passion into everything. Make your bed with passion, cook breakfast with passion, write a letter with passion, put love into everything you do and you will live a passionate life.

Instead of seeing wasted jelly beans with only a small fraction left for yourself, realize all of your other jelly beans are also for yourself. You can color and flavor your jelly beans any way you desire. Even the commuting jelly beans, which are the WORST jelly beans are still an opportunity for something fun or new to discover. You just have to decide how you want that jelly bean to be.

I believe paying attention to the little things during all those activities will help to add more sparkle to the moment. I’d love for you to discover my “Little Things” series and get you to start noticing the little thing in your life more!

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Agenda, Artichokes, and Adventures!

SNAIL MAIL - October 29, 2015

hello friends artichokes, agenda, and adventures

Hello Friends, 

Tonight, I steamed artichokes for the first time and purchased a lovely new agenda at Paper Source. The agenda came before the artichokes and both were an adventure to acquire. I raced to Paper Source after work, barely making it to the store before it closed, and it took 20 minutes just to figure out how I would steam the artichokes. As I type this there are pots on every surface of my kitchen. But I needed to accomplish both missions tonight. Not wanting the artichokes to go bad as we had purchased them on Sunday at a cool farm north of Monterey, they had to be cooked. And the agenda was necessary to help keep me riding this inspiration wave.  

Currently, I’m feeling very inspired and motivated to get more on top of my life. My time management and organization skills are not as type-A as I’d like them to be; but suddenly I’ve been feeling this sense of clarity, like being able to see the pathways to how I’ll get everything I want to do accomplished. Since returning from the PNW road trip, Bowerbird and I have been waking up when our alarm goes off and not hitting snooze. We linger in bed and play with Loulou for about 15 minutes before actually moving out from under the covers, but none the less we are awake. I have this laser focus when it comes to my freelance work, that I think was triggered by the fact I HAD to complete certain projects before the trip. I’m trying to develop a healthy relationship with my freelance lifestyle, stepping away from work by a certain time and allowing time for my personal projects during “non-office” hours. Stepping away from my computer at a reasonable time and removing my eyes from screens for at least an hour before bed. I’m hoping I’ll be able to hold on to all this focus and motivation, devote more time to consistent content creation for personal projects.  

I have so many adventures and thoughts to share. I’m an oversharer. I’ve accepted myself for my oversharing needs. So the agenda is here to help me organize the stories I’ll be publishing on this blog, videos I’ll upload to YouTube, and articles I want to submit to other websites. I’ve had so many wonderful friends send me writing leads, but I haven’t followed up because I’ve felt too disorganized and incapable of finding the time to devote to another outlet. But as the sun sets and rises, tomorrow is a new day to do something different – you just have to do it.  

I was wondering if you had any thoughts on how I should publish content. Now that I’ve gone on my second road trip, how do I organize stories from #ontheroad1014 and #ontheroad1015? Should I post #ontheroad1014 stories on Tuesdays and #ontheroad1015 stories on Thursdays? All other days can be a mixture of content; from a story on me throwing away my old car seat covers or an interview with another creative person. Does it matter? I don’t want to get hung up on perfection. But if you have any thoughts on how stories should be posted, feel free to leave a comment. 

I’m off to begin my bedtime routine, which I’m loving, and need to stop looking at screens. Thank you for reading my letter to you guys and I’ll be writing about that awesome artichoke farm tomorrow, so come back Friday for the post. Hopefully, we can get into a routine together, even though I’m really bad at routines. Although when I find the groove of a routine, I really like it there. 

blanket fort adventures

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