The Non-Definitive Guide To Life

If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with rain" - Dolly Parton

Posts for comedy

Julio Torres is the David Bowie of Comedy

ART, WATCH - August 31, 2019

Amazed. Astonished. Breathless. Some will reject this person, and others will worship him.

Julio Torres is the David Bowie of comedy. I have no idea if someone of actual critical merit has already made this comparison or not. I’ve been actively avoiding reviews of his new HBO special My Favorite Shapes because I want my opinion of it to remain pure and strictly my own. I didn’t want my thoughts tainted or made biased by the perceptions of people with respected views.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been listening to an unofficial David Bowie autobiography titled Hero by Lesley-Ann Jones, watched the documentary Finding Fame on Showtime that highlights Bowie’s formative years in music, and played track by track of every album from David Bowie to Diamond Dogs. It’s a lot of Bowie, but could there ever be too much Bowie – that’s a negative.

A few friends had been posting about the special, and I’d seen trailers on Julio’s Instagram feed. Neither spoiled the magic nor artistic brilliance, which is My Favorite Shapes. We’ve been presented with comedy specials that break the format, Hasan Minhaj’s Homecoming King for example. But from the set design to the glitter on Julio’s well-manicured hands sharing his favorite shapes with us all, Torres didn’t just break the mold of comedy – he shattered it and then reassembled the pieces into a gorgeous fountain mosaic at the center of his alternative zoo.

I sat there watching the special, for a second time around, and exclaimed, “this must be how people who saw David Bowie as Ziggy Stardust on Top of the Pops must have felt.” Amazed. Astonished. Breathless. Some will reject this person, and others will worship him. When I was a kid, Earth just happened to be close enough to Saturn that through a telescope I could see the rings around the planet. It was so special, and not something I could replicate a week later. It was the fact that at that moment, on that night, I could see Saturn’s rings. And at this moment in time, on that particular network, Julio Torres’s My Favorite Shapes was contracted into existence without needing the comedian to convince anyone of the concept.

Torres’s past performances can be seen on YouTube. A scavenger hunt of the puzzle pieces that would become his special. In 2016 at a Risk! Live show he discusses that job interview where he blurts out “I love corporations” in more detail. At Paste Studios he goes through impersonations that demonstrates his style which would lead to that bitchy little curtain between first and second class. It was also in 2016 that he had yet to have crafted his sign off, “if there are no further questions,” struggling for a way to end a set. But Julio from the past, you will figure out how to end a set, and it will be perfection. In April of 2017, Daisy Duck makes an appearance in his performance on Late Night with Seth Meyers, and a year later Cinderella’s glass shoe on the Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonMy Favorite Shapes isn’t an overnight success, like all great art; it has taken years to craft and refine.

David Bowie’s Space Oddity brought Bowie attention, but not the fame and notoriety that would be his legacy. Bowie put out The Man Who Sold the World and Hunky Dory after Space Oddity, and the albums have excellent songs on them, but it wasn’t till The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust was released that Bowie ripped the veil between fame and icon. Julio Torres ripped through that veil with his special; its uniqueness makes it iconic. And not in the way the word is overused today, but in the most real sense of the word – Julio Torres is worthy of adoration, great respect, and reverence. I can’t wait to see what he comes out with next. My only prayer is that the pressure of the artistic success and achievement of My Favorite Shapes doesn’t get into his head and that he will continue to be fiercely true to himself. Write what makes him laugh because his audience will find him. And as he continues to navigate life, he takes influences from wherever he may roam. I can’t wait to see the Julio Torres spin on all of it.

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Best Podcasts of 2018 & Q1 of 2019 According to Me

LISTEN - March 21, 2019

Everyone is starting a podcast or listening to a podcast. I remember downloading podcasts from iTunes onto my iPod in 2005, obscure punk podcasts and one hosted by the singer of Voxtrot. They were rough, unrefined, mostly personal playlists with banter in between. Then over time, I forgot about my love for podcasts until the medium bubbled up to the surface of our social consciousness again. Oh yeah – I like those. It’s been a few years, and some podcasts have stuck with me and others I don’t check in on as frequently. I wanted to write this blog post 2.5 years ago, but got too precious about the presentation and never executed it. In 2016 my favorite podcasts were That’s So Retrograde, Happier Podcast, Bruce Lee Podcast, Failure Factor, and Ted Talk Radio Hour. I only listen to one of those on a consistent basis today. Not that the other podcasts failed me or anything, I will still put on Ted Talk Radio Hour if I have a long drive and I want to use the podcast as my way to track the time, but mostly my taste has just shifted and interest diverged. Also, I was listening to A LOT of self-help podcasts because those were the only ones I knew about. I still have more self-help subscriptions than any other style of podcasts, but the below are really my favorites of 2018 / Q1 of 2019.

1 ] True Crime Obsessed – My sister gets 100% credit for turning me onto “True Crime Obsessed”. As the title suggests, it’s about true crime. But it’s the hosts that make it so incredibly special and fun. Patrick Hinds and Gillian Pensavalle are two theater geeks who also have a love for Dateline and true crime docs. As I’ve described it to friends, imagine Jack and Karen from Will and Grace discussed the ID Channel; except they are breaking down some of the best (and heartbreaking) true crime documentaries with humor and compassion. They have a literal bell to ring when discussing garbage humans and Gillian’s impressions are hilarious. Her Warren Jeff’s is the only thing that makes listening to that monster’s voice tolerable.  I highly suggest starting from the beginning when it comes to diving into TCO. Although you could start anywhere, it’s the episodic inside jokes that develop over the series that makes you feel like you’re really just hanging out with your pals discussing some of the most horrific aspects of life. Plus they close out the shows with a palate cleanser from a Broadway Musical that is loosely tied to the documentary, for example, the palate cleanser for Prophet’s Prey was from the Book of Mormon. *jazz hands* Yeah, True Crime isn’t for everyone – but this one is for me.

Listen If You Like: True Crime Documentaries, Broadway Musicals, LGBTQ History, and Strong Women

2] That’s So Retrograde – The fabulous hosts of “That’s So Retrograde” are Elizabeth Kott and Stephanie Falcon Simbari. If you like crystals, meditation, new age, wellness, astrology and all the things that might help you just vibrate higher – Elizabeth and Stephanie are here to explore those topics for you and with you. I describe this podcast like Sex and the City meets Mind Body Green. They are down to earth, with a sense of humor, trying their best to navigate being a human, living their truth, and picking up various tools to help their mind, body, and spirit be at the level which will help them live their best life. The topics and guests range from super scientist discussing the microbiome to a little more woo-woo covering how the latest cosmic shift should possibly influence your next Botox appointment. Also, I went to one of their live shows last year and excited to share – these two hosts are totally cool and awesome in real life too.

Listen If You Like: Horoscopes, Goop, Vanderpump Rules, Gluten-Free Pizza, and Normal Pizza

3] You Made It Weird – Hosted by comedian Pete Holmes, “You Made It Weird” is for those that love long listening. I was going to say “long-form content,” but that is used for a different medium. Anyways, Pete Holmes books his guest for 2 to 3 hours so they have enough time to move through that space of guarded polite conversation to when one’s hair comes down and they are both relaxed enough to have a real and honest connection. Pete is a former evangelic Christian, reformed atheist, who subscribes to the teachings of Ram Dass and whatever helps to elevate his spiritual being. The podcast isn’t preachy by any means, but if you enjoy comedy and thinking about the deeper meaning as to why we are here (or have regular existential crises like myself) then you will enjoy “You Made It Weird.” He has a 450 episodes to date with recognizable names sprinkled throughout, so you can totally scroll till you find someone of interest or do what I do –  make your Podcast app scroll through the episodes really fast, ask the universe what you need to hear and click play.

Listen if you Like: That feeling you get after having a really good insightful conversation with a complete stranger.

4 ] You Must Remember This – Remember when actresses were subscribed drugs by the Hollywood Studio system, and actors married female costars to present a family image while sleeping with their handsome male hairdresser. Yes, “You Must Remember This” is like an Old Hollywood gossip column with the sophistication and panache of scholarly historian. The host Karina Longworth brings the stories of yesteryear alive, by creating captivating seasons that cover everyone from Joan Crawford to Charles Manson. If you’ve ever been fascinated with Old Hollywood, or the transition of Hollywood to what we know of it as today then this podcast is for you.  The beautiful part of this podcast is it seems like one season plants the seed for the next, like a fun fact or tidbit of information begs for further investigation and suddenly there is a series on the parallels of Jean Seberg and Jane Fonda’s careers. It’s like if Nancy Drew grew up and was a film buff.

Listen if you Like: Movies in Black and White, Scandal, True Crime, and Glamour.

Honorable Mentions:

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard – Cool people having deep conversations

By The Book – Two awesome ladies trying out self-help books so you don’t have to.

Fishnet Flixs – If the word “Camp” makes you think of iconic fashion and cult-classic worthy dialogue before nature and tents, then this is for you!

Let me know what podcasts are on your download list. I hope you enjoying checking out a few of my favorites.

 

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My Life is a Sitcom

SNAIL MAIL - February 14, 2012

I joke a lot about how I’m a lot like the New Girl, HEY! I was here first. But this morning I seriously had to keep on smiling and see the comedy in the sitcom like situations going on.  It started off with me putting on one of my favorite sweaters, it’s cream colored and striped and  already has a tiny stain on it I cover with a horse button. Well when going over the final “look down” in my mirror, I saw a nice size bleach stain at the bottom of the sweater. I just shrugged it off and decided to head to work.

When I try and turn on my car, my engine won’t start.  Thankfully I have AAA and on the upside could drink a cup of coffee while I waiting for them. Once Pedro the AAA guy comes he tells me my battery needs to be replaced. Ok, so I replace the battery. By the time the entire process is done. It is 9, the time I am supposed to be at work.  Not stressed, I just get on the freeway to head to work. But my gas tank is empty, so I hop off the next exit to fill my tank.

Then when I was half way to work it started to pour rain, and I am wearing ballet flats. Not exactly the perfect rain shoes.  Walking into work I just felt like I was in the middle of a sitcom. I couldn’t get angry or upset, but just laugh at the sheer “boo hoo-ness”  of it all. Today probably wouldn’t have been on New Girl, but Seinfeld for sure.

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