The Non-Definitive Guide To Life

a blog for people who still read

Posts for WATCH Category

Love the Looks in ‘The Parent Trap’ (1961)

BEAUTY & STYLE, WATCH - May 17, 2020

One of my favorite podcasts, Fishnet Flix, dissects the fashion looks of different films and taking a page out of their book, I’d like to start sharing the looks I love from various movies I enjoy too — whenever the mood may strike.

Yesterday, I was in the mood for watching a film that had a dreamy stylized aesthetic and an uplifting storyline. Surprisingly, I find that combination is hard to come by unless you watch movies from the sixties or fifties. And that is how I landed on re-watching the 1961 classic ‘The Parent Trap’ on Disney+. I remember loving the looks in the film as a kid and always liked the original better than the Lindsay Lohan remake.

So without further ado, here are ripped copyrighted moments from ‘The Parent Trap’ all rights reserved to Buena Vista Films and Disney. Hopefully, this post will land in the realm of educational use.

Can we all agree that vintage bathing suits are just SO MUCH more stylish than today’s scantily clad looks!? I love this gingham print suit on Sharon, and although it’s a look for a modest teen, this modest thirty-something would rock it in a heartbeat.

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What I’ve Been Watching – Quarantine Edition

WATCH - April 26, 2020

Steaming is up by 34% if not more, and I would like to say I am a part of that statistic, but it doesn’t feel like my consumption of streaming content has gone up by too much.  However, this is the first time I’m finally coming out with a “What I’ve Been Watching” post — so, I’ve obviously been watching enough content to be inspired to share what I’ve discovered.

The Relationtrip

A super weird little indie film that involves an abusive toxic puppet named Chippy that sounds exactly like my internal dialogue sometimes. Yeah, that is how I want to describe this movie, because if you can’t sign off on a toxic puppet – then you will have a real hard time signing off on the rest of this indie picture. We basically follow two young people over the course of a weekend in Joshua Tree, and while watching the movie you’re not exactly sure if you’re in on a joke or just watching two people in a Southern California terrarium. It’s no longer available on Hulu, but you can rent it on Google Play and Amazon Prime for $3.99. If you’re down for weird, have an edible, and bored of everything else; then definitely watch The Relationtrip

Teen Spirit

I was surprised by how much I loved this movie. The soundtrack is fantastic and the acting impeccable. When I saw the trailer I was intrigued because of the music, but then was afraid it would be another dull indie movie similar to Neon Demon. A movie that is all aesthetic.

A common flaw of the indie or alt-film genre is that storylines can veer into the lane of either too complicated or too subtle to be enjoyable. A waste of my time. But Teen Spirit wasn’t! The singing competition is merely a vehicle to tell a more meaningful story about relationship dynamics.

I love ripping on bad trailers. Trailers that don’t make sense for movies at all and get the heart of the movie all wrong. Unfortunately, I can’t fault the trailer of Teen Spirit, because a trailer about the heart of the film – wouldn’t have motivated anyone to actually watch it. It’s like a hidden treasure for those who take the time to enjoy this film. It’s still available on Hulu, and you don’t need cannabis to enjoy it.

Under The Silver Lake

This movie is one of those indie movies that is too damn complicated for its own good and the fact it’s filmed in my backyard* can’t even save it. I wanted to like it, and I just couldn’t. It’s a 2 hour and 20 minute self-indulgent mess. It’s a bad date with a really cute guy. It’s available on Amazon Prime and I had to watch it over the course of two days because I gave up on Friday night, and am in quarantine and had nothing better to do with my Saturday morning – so I finished it. The ending wasn’t satisfying. The whole experience was mildly frustrating. So if you want an exercise in patience and enjoy self-torture, again – it’s available on Amazon Prime

*I live about 20 miles away from Silver Lake (silver lake area) but still consider it my backyard because I grew up in a suburb of LA and as soon as I could drive I went to Sunset Junction and fell in love. It’s no longer the city of my youth, but it still has a special place in my heart.

The Platform

If you enjoyed Cube, I think you will like The Platform, but you’ll need to read subtitles unless you’re fluent in Spanish. An incredibly unique film that puts a microscope on human nature. Can’t lie, it can be a little triggering especially given the current state of our world amidst a pandemic. An analysis on selfishness, indulgence, desperation, and privilege – oh it’s a think piece that might leave you a bit more unsettled than you were expecting. Violence, gore, and jumpsuits are involved; but if you get past the grim you get to enjoy a really great story. I’m jealous that I didn’t come up with the story. The movie is available on Netflix.

Marriage Story

I don’t like Scarlett Johansson. I love Adam Driver. Movie was mediocre. A basic latte. A beige sweater. It probably did so well with the Hollywood crowd because it’s a highly accurate picture of divorce …. fun ? ? ? I only watched it because I was already in a bad mood and kept me in the same place.

Tiger King

Need I say more…

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Interior Lives from The Cut – my home expander

HOME + LIFESTYLE, WATCH - February 29, 2020

“A Bouquet of Happiness” – Inside Jonathan Adler and Simon Doonan’s Whimsical Home

I’m a firm believer in manifestation. I have been ever since I was a kid. My first manifestation was at the age of 11 or 10 and I called in our family dog Blondie. I have more manifestation stories, but maybe I’ll reserve that for its own post.

Last year I began listening to manifestation coach Lacey Phillips’ podcast and gained insights into her manifestation system, which is also very much a “how-to heal from your emotional trauma, grow, and develop new breakthroughs” system. I wholeheartedly believe in her system, as the manifestation process I’ve been fostering since I was a child is very similar to hers. However, she has some tips, tricks, and workshops that never dawned on me and I believe the universe did send her the full download. A download that allows her to communicate what I’ve known instinctually, unveiling a vocabulary and structure of how to truly manifest the life you desire.

One of those vocab words is Expanders . In her words, “Expanders™ are some of the most valuable energy you will ever have around you. They are literally who expand your belief system when it comes to Manifestation. And learning how to detect them and integrate them is a potent part of living an existence of our being in full expansion and possibility of receiving what we are calling in.”

Put simply, Expanders show you the possibilities of what it is that you can have in your life. If you want to be a mother and a CEO, then you could find Expanders by googling, “women CEOs who have children,” I did it and the article is here. Expanders can be anyone or anything, they just expand your mind and energy.

In regards to home life and aesthetics, I love watching The Cut’s Interior Lives series. Not every home is MY aesthetic or style, but the way in which people talk about their homes and how the home reflects their distinct style is how I want to feel about where I live. It is an Expander for me and the way I want to present my life and move through my space. The art, culture, and nuances of the creative soul. It helps me to increase my magnetism (another of the vocab words) in regards to calling in the home-life I want to manifest.

I’ve been debating signing up for Lacey Phillips program for months now, and I feel myself inching closer and closer to that investment. If and when I make the leap, I’ll share the process. In the meantime, I sort of love the idea of sharing what I’m already doing and what I’m using as Expanders in my life.

Are you a fan of Lacey Phillips? Do you believe in manifestation?

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Julio Torres is the David Bowie of Comedy

ART, WATCH - August 31, 2019

Amazed. Astonished. Breathless. Some will reject this person, and others will worship him.

Julio Torres is the David Bowie of comedy. I have no idea if someone of actual critical merit has already made this comparison or not. I’ve been actively avoiding reviews of his new HBO special My Favorite Shapes because I want my opinion of it to remain pure and strictly my own. I didn’t want my thoughts tainted or made biased by the perceptions of people with respected views.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve been listening to an unofficial David Bowie autobiography titled Hero by Lesley-Ann Jones, watched the documentary Finding Fame on Showtime that highlights Bowie’s formative years in music, and played track by track of every album from David Bowie to Diamond Dogs. It’s a lot of Bowie, but could there ever be too much Bowie – that’s a negative.

A few friends had been posting about the special, and I’d seen trailers on Julio’s Instagram feed. Neither spoiled the magic nor artistic brilliance, which is My Favorite Shapes. We’ve been presented with comedy specials that break the format, Hasan Minhaj’s Homecoming King for example. But from the set design to the glitter on Julio’s well-manicured hands sharing his favorite shapes with us all, Torres didn’t just break the mold of comedy – he shattered it and then reassembled the pieces into a gorgeous fountain mosaic at the center of his alternative zoo.

I sat there watching the special, for a second time around, and exclaimed, “this must be how people who saw David Bowie as Ziggy Stardust on Top of the Pops must have felt.” Amazed. Astonished. Breathless. Some will reject this person, and others will worship him. When I was a kid, Earth just happened to be close enough to Saturn that through a telescope I could see the rings around the planet. It was so special, and not something I could replicate a week later. It was the fact that at that moment, on that night, I could see Saturn’s rings. And at this moment in time, on that particular network, Julio Torres’s My Favorite Shapes was contracted into existence without needing the comedian to convince anyone of the concept.

Torres’s past performances can be seen on YouTube. A scavenger hunt of the puzzle pieces that would become his special. In 2016 at a Risk! Live show he discusses that job interview where he blurts out “I love corporations” in more detail. At Paste Studios he goes through impersonations that demonstrates his style which would lead to that bitchy little curtain between first and second class. It was also in 2016 that he had yet to have crafted his sign off, “if there are no further questions,” struggling for a way to end a set. But Julio from the past, you will figure out how to end a set, and it will be perfection. In April of 2017, Daisy Duck makes an appearance in his performance on Late Night with Seth Meyers, and a year later Cinderella’s glass shoe on the Tonight Show Starring Jimmy FallonMy Favorite Shapes isn’t an overnight success, like all great art; it has taken years to craft and refine.

David Bowie’s Space Oddity brought Bowie attention, but not the fame and notoriety that would be his legacy. Bowie put out The Man Who Sold the World and Hunky Dory after Space Oddity, and the albums have excellent songs on them, but it wasn’t till The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust was released that Bowie ripped the veil between fame and icon. Julio Torres ripped through that veil with his special; its uniqueness makes it iconic. And not in the way the word is overused today, but in the most real sense of the word – Julio Torres is worthy of adoration, great respect, and reverence. I can’t wait to see what he comes out with next. My only prayer is that the pressure of the artistic success and achievement of My Favorite Shapes doesn’t get into his head and that he will continue to be fiercely true to himself. Write what makes him laugh because his audience will find him. And as he continues to navigate life, he takes influences from wherever he may roam. I can’t wait to see the Julio Torres spin on all of it.

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PROGRESS REPORT: WEEK 23

BEAUTY & STYLE, WATCH - June 9, 2017

It’s been a really gloomy gray week in Southern California. But this morning the sun is out, and golden rays are flooding my office. I love the crisp cold air of the morning and the unique glow only fresh sun rays bestow on the earth. I feel like a sunflower waking up. Oh, no more floral metaphors. Anyways, this new day is invigorating, and as I watched May Favorite YouTube videos while eating some homemade granola, I really wanted to share some of my own favorites or just stuff I came across recently. This lead me to go “F* it,” it’s time to do weekly check-in’s / progress reports. So if you’re down, here are a few things I’ve been loving, liking, thinking about, and generally want to share.

SHOW & TELL

I have four different colors as my primary color inspiration for my wedding. Each bridesmaid get’s to choose her own color, fuchsia pink, turquoise, marigold, or poppy orange. My sister has been designated with poppy orange, but as she has three kids, a full-time job, and our writing project – I decided to do some bridesmaid dress research for her. I didn’t find the dress, but I did find these, that I’m in love with!! ONE TWO

 

Recently a friend posed the question how someone can still choose to be Catholic after she’d watched The Keepers. I engaged in the conversation slightly, but Facebook really isn’t the place to have an in-depth theological discussion. Since I wanted to know where she was coming from, I watched the docuseries sooner than I had anticipated. It’s heartbreaking and the retelling of the acts of a truly EVIL man. It was disturbing, and my heart breaks for all the victims involved in this story. This also led me to watch Spotlight. The acts of the Archdiocese is appalling and inexcusable, and I pray that the church is exorcising its demons. I still feel the internet is not the best place for that conversation, but my position is that you can have faith in Catholicism and still oppose the acts of the Catholic Church, they are not one in the same. It’s spirituality versus a system. Anywho, The Keepers and Spotlight are both fantastic watches, and I commend the work of the Bulldogs exposing the corruption in the church. [[and you have every right to disagree with my thought process, and think I’m deplorable – whatevs. oh, and watching these films was NOT the first time i learned of the church’s corruption. ]]

Lighter note! Music – I discovered Rubblebucket this week and their EP “If U C My Enemies” makes me so damn happy.

Jessica Murnane of “One Part Plant” is my favorite human this week. I’ve been listening to her podcast, One Part Podcast for the last month and love her interview style. I also just finished her second podcast, The Cookbook Deal where she documented the process of creating a cookbook during the weirdest year of her life. And it was an intense year, basically, after listening to it all, I was like here have all my money and immediately bought her book on Amazon. Yesterday I made the granola from the book, it was super easy and with a few of my favorite spices (cinnamon & cardamom) super delicious. Definitely, listen to her podcast, here are a few of my favorite episode.

Episode 62: Creating Your Wellness Toolbox + Understanding Lyme Disease With Ally Hilfiger
Episode 53: Turning A Dead End Into A U-turn With Jensen Karp Of Kanye West Owes Me Three Hundred Dollars
Episode 52: Why Healthy Eating Doesn’t Solve All Your Problems + Being An Introvert + Hustling Hard With Laura Miller Of Raw. Vegan. Not Gross.

Hope you enjoyed my progress report & have a wonderous weekend!

Share your progress report in the comments, what’s something you’ve been watching, liking, or loving this week?

LOVE & LIGHT

 

 

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FRIDAY FAVORITES OR FINDS | WK2 2017

New year, new ideas – welcome to Friday Favorites or Finds

*this post may include affiliate links, those items will be marked with an asterisk

The new year always brings on a surge of inspiration and motivation for me. My creative engines are revving and I’m seeing the world with a new vibrancy. Given the collective emotional hangover that was 2016, I am taking a zen approach of letting things be and approaching life one choice at a time.

So, one of my choices was to add a FUN category to the blog. I wanted to create a space on here for more silliness, randomness, and plain old fun.  And I think it would be fun to share the things that I found or fell in love with on a weekly basis. I truly believe sharing is caring.

Each post will be accompanied by a video highlighting the art, music, and life adventure aspect of my Friday favorites or finds. Then here I’ll sprinkle in some more awesome items and things I think you should know about. So here it goes!

Friday Favorites

 

*Plant Believe It Earrings: Adorable little cacti in pink pots! I just love them and they are 60% off.

Sakara Morning/Beauty Water: It’s a total luxury item but I LOVE this water. It contains rose water, silica, and 72 ionic trace minerals to hydrate and keep you glowing. It’s silly, but I feel prettier drinking the water because it tastes so pretty. p.s. I purchased a whole reset program from Sakara that I will be reviewing later this month.

Brain Dust From Moon Juice:  I raved about the Brain Dust over on Instagram. As it says on the box, it’s an alchemy to align with the mighty flow for great achievement. It’s made with organic and wildcrafted herbs, adaptogenic plants, and bioactive minerals. So basically, it tastes like bitter dirt for the first five cups, but by your sixth cup, you’re hooked and feeling good!

Ubrand Monterey Ballpoint Pens: $8.00 for two pens might seem like a lot but when you have this pen in your hand you feel ready to take on the day. It has a substantial weight and writes like a dream. I’m an office supply nerd and this pen has earned a whole sticker sheet of gold stars.

Oliver Hudson’s Instagram account : Oliver Hudson is an actor, Kate Hudson’s brother, Goldie Hawn’s son, and the honey badger of Instagram. My sister turned me on to his account and it’s hilarious (or at least my kind of humor). At first, I didn’t understand why my sister told me to check out his account, but after watching a few videos, I was totally hooked. Plus, both Kate and Goldie comment on his posts and it adds to the absurdist comedy.

Pixie Geldof’s I’m Yours: review in my video

Magical Universe: review in my video

 tweet it -“Don’t let mild inconvenience get in the way of your joy!” 

I’m still unsure of what name I should commit to, so if you have an opinion feel free to take my poll!

 

Love &  Light

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Summer and Fall Recap of Gilmore Girls Revival Now Live on YouTube

EATS & DRINKS, WATCH - November 30, 2016

Summer and Fall Recap of Gilmore Girls Revival while eating Chinese food and apple pie! 

I was anxiously waiting for ‘Gilmore Girls: A Year In the Life’ on Netflix like every other twenty to thirty something who watched the cult status worthy television. My sad attempt at last-minute binge watching took me half-way through the last season and a few Brit and Co recommended episodes. But mostly I relied on my steel trap memory for recall when triggered.  To celebrate the revival, I made plans with one of my best friends to eat like a Gilmore and watch Gilmore Girls: “A Year In The Life”. She was kind enough to allow me to record our gastric adventure and post-episode discussion. We had SO MUCH fun making these videos, and I hope you enjoy watching our thoughts and feels. Fall and Summer recaps are live now!

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Winter and Spring Recap of Gilmore Girls Revival Now Live on YouTube

EATS & DRINKS, WATCH - November 28, 2016

Winter and Spring Recap of Gilmore Girls Revival while eating pancakes and cheeseburgers! 

I was anxiously waiting for ‘Gilmore Girls: A Year In the Life’ on Netflix like every other twenty to thirty something who watched the cult status worthy television. My sad attempt at last-minute binge watching took me half-way through the last season and a few Brit and Co recommended episodes. But mostly I relied on my steel trap memory for recall when triggered.  To celebrate the revival, I made plans with one of my best friends to eat like a Gilmore and watch Gilmore Girls: “A Year In The Life”. She was kind enough to allow me to record our gastric adventure and post-episode discussion. We had SO MUCH fun making these videos, and I hope you enjoy watching our thoughts and feels. I currently only have the Winter and Spring recap of Gilmore Girls: “A Year In The Life”  ready, but make sure to subscribe to my YouTube channel for Summer and Fall.

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WTF ALOHA!? My 5 Better Casting Choices

SNAIL MAIL, WATCH - May 29, 2015

*UPDATE* Cameron Crowe has written a blog post regarding the character of Alisson Ng. He apologizes for having offended people and explains how the character is proud of her heritage although she doesn’t look mixed. I understand how the casting of Emma Stone fits the characters appearance and after talking with my sister who has a blond hair, blue eyed, 1/4 Japanese baby girl – I understand her frustration of people calling out Emma Stone for ‘not looking Asian’. But in the end I stand by my desire that the role have been cast accordingly and that they have gone with an unknown who is a quarter Asian to play the role. I also stand by my desire that pet unicorns become legal.

I’m having major issues with Emma Stone being cast as a half Asian Pacific Islander in the new Cameron Crowe film Aloha and here are my reasons why. Back in the day I wanted to be an actress. I went to professional acting classes for 5 years and even graduated High School early to pursue my career. I did eventually decided the industry wasn’t for me, not because it’s hard or there is rejection that is in every career field. Just being 18 and seeing struggling actors at 28, I didn’t want that to be me in 10 years and knew I didn’t love the craft enough to be that person. So I jumped shipped and went into art. Anyways, when I was in acting classes and going on auditions, being half Asian and half white I was told my roles would be limited. I was also told I’d never be a leading lady. There are other talented mixed actresses out there that probably hear the same thing, and so when a role that is written to be someone of mixed Asian decent is given to someone who isn’t of mixed Asian descent, it’s pretty damn infuriating.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Emma Stone didn’t even have to audition for this film, and instead the studio had three white female actresses in mind. The two other actresses as back up if Ms. Stone didn’t want the part. Also I’d like to remind readers that Hawaiian is an actual ethnic background rooted in ancient Polynesian migration to Hawaii – so this character really should look a quarter Asian and a quarter Pacific Islander. As a mixed Asian woman, I’m not even asking the studio to hire an actress of that exact background, but maybe someone who actually has some Asian/Islander DNA. If a character was written to be half white and half African-American, I really doubt the studio would have hired an all white actress then – think about it.

I compiled a list of actresses that should have possibly been considered before our beloved Emma Stone, but probably weren’t. They are all around her age (Emma Stone was born in 1988) and have a decent amount of Asian in them – some might surprise you.  And I understand Emma Stone is great for the box office, but even if the following actresses acting chops aren’t up to that of Emma Stone, I’m sure they could have found a charming unknown that could deliver an great performance. Emma Stone is insult to injury in an already under represented demographic in entertainment.

My Casting Couch: 

Vanessa Hudgens

 

Vanessa Hudgens | DOB : 1988

What? Our High School Musical songstress is half -Asian? Yes, friends she is! Vanessa is half- Filipino which is considered Asian but has been debated to be more Pacific-Islander. It’s like Vanessa’s mixed background was made for the quarter this and quarter that character. I mean all Asian people look the same, right? Also Vanessa has gone one to perform in a few indie flicks and has worked to break her Disney image. I’d like to see a screen test!

Shay Mitchell

Shay Mitchell | DOB : 1987

Pretty Little Liar actress, Shay Mitchell, has yet to make her big screen film debut, but this could have been her chance. Her moment! She’s been kicking around on the tv circuit since 2009, but this also half Filipino actress could play Aloha’s Allison Ng. I don’t think Shay is a bad actress, but as rumor had it the studio didn’t have much faith in the film anyways, so why not let her have a screen test.

Nicole

Nicole Gale Anderson | DOB 1990

Nicole is also an ABC Family darling. Playing Kelly Parker on one of my favorite guilty pleasures, Make it or Break it.  Two years younger than Emma Stone, with 10 years of television experience on her resume, maybe she wasn’t right for the part. But her Filipino heritage makes her closer to the character of Alison Ng, than Emma’s Swedish, German, Scottish and Irish roots.  

Katie Findlay

Katie Findlay |DOB 1990

Katie is one of the less Asian actresses on this list and yet my favorite for Aloha. Ms. Findlay is part Chinese mixed with Portuguese, English and Scottish. Unlike Shay and Vanessa who are half Filipino, I think Katie could have acted just as well as Emma Stone in this part. Allison Ng is a fighter pilot with the manic pixie dream girl charm. After seeing Katie in How To Get Away With Murder, take away the goth wardrobe and she could have played this twenty-something dream girl just trying to do her job, find her roots, and maybe fall in love. (I havn’t seen the movie, I’m basing this off of other reviews of Aloha)

Kelsey Chow

Kelsey Chow | DOB 1991

Kelsey Chow,  a total unknown still hustling to build up her IMDB credits, but played the ‘Hot Girl’ in the Amazing Spider Man staring Emma Stone. It’s like a sad six degrees of Kevin Bacon, Kelsey is Chinese but probably wasn’t even on the casting list for this mixed Allison Ng part.

I’m getting off my soapbox now, but really there is no reason the studio couldn’t have cast an adorable mixed Asian girl to play the part of Allison Ng. Critics are calling out the absurdity in the casting choice, but the damage is already done – the check has already been cashed by Emma Stone and not a mixed Asian actress. Once again I do want to say I love Emma Stone and she is probably great in this movie. I’d probably really like this movie because all the critics bashing this movie are saying the movie is on par with Elizabethtown, and well Elizabethtown is one of my favorite films. But really, when will studios stop thinking like its 1962 and get with the times!

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Tom is Stupid & Summer is a Bitch

SNAIL MAIL, WATCH - April 5, 2012

Last night I watched 500 Days of Summer, one of my favorite movies that I had not watched in a while. Cinematic-ally it is still one of my favs, stylistically one of my favs, but I looked at the story in a whole new light and I have to say; Tom you are absolutely retarded and Summer you’re a fucking bitch!
When I first saw this movie (500 Days of Summer) I thought the world of Tom, and empathized with Summer. Now in lieu of being strung along by a guy, letting someone else mean more to me than my own self-worth and wellbeing, and having my own heart completely disregarded with no care in the world. I would like to say I deserved every painful, long drawn out crying fit or torturous painful *anorexia induced stress and stomach retching ache because I “loved” him or thought “he was the one”. And I decided yes we will be friends and someday he will love me, etc. Until one day I woke up like Tom drawing on his wall and decided enough of this, I’m moving on.

But just as N.D, knew I was in love with him, and should have let this poor struggling fish off the damn line and not say “let’s be friends”. Summer should have said, “Hi Tom, sorry I’m just not in love with you and don’t think I ever will be let’s go our separate ways”. Don’t dance with him; don’t give him morsels of hope to be choked on later by an engagement ring!!

I’m not that great at dating, as I have “value” issues to deal with. You know saying “I’m better than this” or “I deserve to be pursued” lots of lingo like that. I can get clingy or want to move to fast out of a deep knowing that “hell he doesn’t want a relationship with me anyways so what the hell”. But I’m changing and growing. A part of that is to NOT BE A FRIEND, with someone you really like or was in a relationship with because it only leads to you being emotionally abused and mind fucked.

In conclusion, Tom I hoped you learned your lesson and Summer I’m glad you got married cause you should no longer talk to your ex’s, that is just bad form!

*I was not anorexic. But my calorie count was around 500 at some point cause I just couldn’t eat and I drank a lot of high-calorie sodas/juices to keep blood sugar up– I was a mess.

 

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