The Non-Definitive Guide To Life

If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with rain" - Dolly Parton

Posts for HEALTH & WELLNESS Category

My Period and the Plight of Humanity

HEALTH & WELLNESS - April 23, 2022

Audio Recording of Article:

Dunes of fast fashion pile up in the Chilean desert, and sea turtles get straws stuck up their nose. A plastic bag and plastic gloves are kept in our hiking backpack to pick up litter along the dirt paths leading to scenic nature vistas. Only to later throw said litter bag in a bin that ends up in a landfill where it will be isolated from the rest of the environment, yet potentially reach capacity in less than eight years and be closed—forcing a new shiny landfill to be developed somewhere else. I don’t state this to trigger any eco-anxiety. It’s a reality of our human existence due to the overproduction, overconsumption, and over-accumulation driven by the unchecked dark side of capitalist philosophy, free-market rhetoric, and mental health trauma. Yes, corporations are the largest producer of waste. The world would require a seismic shift in priorities to curtail the plain fact that we will eventually exhaust our options, and our planet will have a landscape that doesn’t look too far off from the backdrop of Disney’s Wall-E. I won’t be alive when that happens. I don’t know if my genetic code will be existing in a human lifeform by the time we reach that point. But it doesn’t mean I don’t think of it, nor think of what I can do to curb my own careless behaviors and be a dash more mindful about the planet I inhabit. The reality of being a parasitic species is we will eventually kill the host. And I don’t find hopelessness in this bleak future; I find my own areas of influence to create the illusion of control in the wild chaos that is life.

Like, learning how to shove a menstrual cup up my vagina and investing in $300 worth of eco-alternative menstrual supplies. Clearly, I’m privileged as I have the means to make the pricey upfront purchases without impacting other areas of my life, and I have a private, clean environment to hygienically keep up the cyclical routine. The marketing tactic of sustainability and wellness appeal to our values of keeping not only ourselves but the planet clean and healthy, with a price tag that falls into aspiration and elitism. Stimulating the built-in superiority complex that is engrained in Western cultures evolution from feudalism, feeding on the desire to be comfortable within a court.

However, this isn’t to say that an eco-friendly healthy lifestyle isn’t achievable by other lower-cost means – one would just need to have the one resource that alchemizes money — time. Not ignoring the fact that in most societal structures, you still need money to practice in the exchange of value for goods, but with time – money can be stretched further. I don’t have time. Most of us don’t have time. And I have plugged into the money game. Majority of us HAVE to plug into the money game. And I’m fortunate enough to be in a level of the game with the starter pack I was born with and bonus point tools earned along the way that allows me to shift from Ziplocs to reusable Stasher bags. One $12 bag at a time (24 Ziploc bags is $7.00).

What’s my point? Initially, it was if you have the privilege to learn how to use a menstrual cup and wear period panties then do it for the planet. Because there are likely more people who don’t have that privilege than do, and reusable menstruation cups have the lightest environmental impact. If I can do it, then you definitely can too*. But then it’s unraveled into the philosophical analysis of the fact that we’re all just caught in the hamster wheel of time vs. money because at some point, the paradigm shifted from being caught in a cage of divine right vs. serfdom. And if a paradigm can shift once before, it can shift again and again until at some point we can find the right combination to support the common good and fight back the dark underbelly – just hopefully it occurs before we’re living in a dystopian hellscape surrounded by the things that once adorned our identities, or are taken out by artificial intelligence through nuclear warfare.

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Charging Waves & Tetris Games

HEALTH & WELLNESS, LISTEN, SNAIL MAIL - June 11, 2021

I’ve been struggling to hold on to a sense of myself outside of over-working and burnout. On weekends I find myself lost and aimless on how to navigate the unstructured time—struggling to prioritize myself over the boxes that line up next to my professional to-do list like a Level 10 Tetris screen.

Should I rest? Watch Netflix? Clean? Organize? Write? Create? What am I trying to achieve? What do I like? Who am I? What do I do first? What time is it? How is it already 8 pm? Damn, the sun is a mind f*ck.

Compound the existential crisis with trying to get in the swing of socializing after a year of living my best hermit life, and I’m like – not awesome. I’m not terrible, but I’m not awesome.

I’m growing at an incredibly rapid rate, and I feel like I have a spiritual camel-toe high-water situation happening. Grateful for the lessons and challenges that I’m experiencing. Each day feels like I’m charging wave after wave in an endless ocean of possibilities riding a tide that seems not to be taking me any closer to the shore.

When I was about 11 years old, I had gone through a growth spurt and, unbeknownst to me, packed a bathing suit that was too small for a pool party. Excited to go swimming, I put on the teeny weeny one piece that wedged up my bum with straps pulled taught like the end of a slingshot determined to make the poly-blend work for me. I’m not exactly sure who recognized or saved me from public embarrassment, but I was set up with an old bathing suit from my older cousin to wear instead. At the moment, I was uncomfortable with wearing a suit that wasn’t mine, but it was made clear to me that I had outgrown the suit I had brought.

Growth is uncomfortable and brings on more discomfort.

Guess that’s just where I’m at, the uncomfortable state of growing into a new person and figuring out what fits.

APRIL/MAY PLAYLIST

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Happy to Be Living With My Mom This Mother’s Day

My mother is one of the most intelligent and resilient women I know, and for this Mother’s Day, I’m going to stop being ashamed that I live with her.

Yes, I’m a thirty-three-year-old married woman with an established career who lives with their mother. For the past 15 years, I’ve carried a growing shame about living with her, and it wasn’t until I was in quarantine with my Mom did I unpack that baggage.

Shame is interesting, it’s non-discriminate, and regardless of status, it finds a way to infect our souls. A seed that is planted in our psyche and grows over time, influencing how we move through the world, protecting the little secrets we have around our shame. Movies, television shows, media, in general, has painted the picture of a very pathetic adult who lives with their parent. A person who is unmotivated, non-directional, a slacker, lazy, ungrateful, entitled, a stunted-adult who is irresponsible and has a bad case of Peter Pan syndrome. It’s a characterization that I don’t identify with and does not accurately depict my husband at all. I am absolutely terrified of being boxed in by that stereotype. If the story were flipped and my mother happened to be living with me in my house, I’d be painted with a sweet altruistic multi-generational home narrative, but that isn’t my story. I would be lying if I tried to spin that story too. Instead, I’m tangled up in my shame because except for a small three-month stint in Venice when I was 20 and living with a few co-workers, I’ve never lived on my own.

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ME AND MY DSYTHYMIA – Persistent Depressive Disorder | Mental Health Awareness Month

HEALTH & WELLNESS - June 1, 2018

The above photo is from Yayoi Kasuma’s exhibit Infinity Mirrors and the painting I’m standing in front of is “I Who Have Taken an Anti-Depressant”. At the end of the Infinity Mirrors exhibition, before entering the obliteration room (the room with all the colorful polka dot stickers) there were several canvas pieces with titles and symbols that acted as tells to how Kusama views and lives with her own mind and mental health. Today is the last day of Mental Health Awareness month, and I wasn’t even really intending on creating a piece about my own personal mental health, but today I have a little extra time and wanted to share how I live with depression.

I have Dysthymia, or in the simple to understand terms, persistent depressive disorder. It’s fairly common affecting around 3 million people in US (thank you Google) but is less common than major depressive disorder, which effects around 16 million people in the US and is what most people tend to associate or understand as depression. A person with persistent depressive disorder, like myself, can experience major depression, which is then called double depression – how fun is that. But when you have persistent depressive disorder, it means you’ve been in a state of depression for two or more years, and there are moments of it when it’s alleviated but basically, you don’t go more than two months without depression (thank you MayoClinic)

Now, I can continue to explain this all like a medical book, or I can just explain what it’s like for me to live with it. I’ve had it since I was a kid, I’ve always connected more to Grumpy Bear and Oscar the Grouch. My negative self-talk was hardwired into my brain, I came out of the womb skeptical about myself and the world I grew up in didn’t necessarily make it easy to silence those voices. So, I just have always had this stormy little rain cloud following me around. But what do rainclouds bring? Rainbows. So, I was also like a super fun and silly kid too. As I grew up, the storm clouds got bigger and so did the rainbows. And people like rainbows, so I had lots of friends. In my teen years, which sucks for everyone, I was a popular kid with suicidal thoughts. I was incredibly self-destructive and tried my best to hide it from people.

Yet, I couldn’t hide the depression completely, so there were a lot of days when people would ask “what’s wrong?” and I know they were concerned but you can’t say the truth. What do you say to another 15 year old, that you feel like death is better than living and you realize you don’t even have it that bad. I had a lot of conflicted feelings about my depression. I felt guilty for being depressed, but I also had this sick pride – it’s was something that made me feel special. Like I understood what all those Lifetime movies are about, I feel that, all the time. Plus, I was already in therapy, what were my friends going to do. So, on the days when it was really hard to hide the depression, I’d just say I was tired. Even today, I don’t love when people ask if I’m ok, because I’m not, but what am I supposed to say – what are they supposed to do.

Depression and destruction was all I knew until I was about 20 and I got medicated. With medication came the ability to see what the world could be like without depression. A big part of persistent depressive disorder is it goes on for so long, it becomes a part of one’s identity. And the medication was like a power washer to the window that I viewed life and emotions. All I knew was depression and brief moments of technicolor rainbow happiness. I didn’t know what it felt like to go weeks without feeling depressed, and medication gave me that wonderful feeling. It was super cool! The medication worked (when I remembered to take it) for about 3 years, then it stopped working. I was taking Bupropion (aka Wellbutrin) and it just stopped being effective. I was getting more depressive episodes than normal while taking the medication, and I took Abilify to make the anti-depressant work better but that caused my hand to twitch so I stopped taking it. In order to continue to be medicated, I would have had to go to a more intense anti-depressant like Prozac and that honestly scared me. So at 24, I decided to go off medication, at that point I had read enough self-help books, been to therapy, and grew a self-awareness around the depression that I felt I could navigate life without the anti-depressants.

Now, 6 years later, living with persistent depression without a therapist or medication – it’s not a fucking walk in the park. It sucks. But it’s not terrible, and it’s not impossible. That stormy raincloud, it’s more like a shadow monster, and some days it comes banging on the door refusing to leave and I’m just done. Other days it peaks it’s head around the corner to tell me it’s still there, and I just go ok, nice to see you, not today Satan. And other days it’s nowhere in sight and those days are awesome!! But my shadow monster is always lurking, and I’ve learned how to deal with it. I’ve learned how to have friendships, relationships, a stable job, ambitions, goals, dreams – all of it.

Earlier this month, I wanted to start weekly/ daily vlogging. It’s been an ambition of mine, but I have a lot of conflicted feelings about it. One, my days are fairly routine and kind of boring. Two, my depression. I don’t know when it will hit. I don’t know when I’m going to have an episode, where all of a sudden I’m filled with a deep hopelessness and very little will to function. So, the week I started doing it, by Tuesday I woke up feeling depressed. I had to do a lot of contrary action to pull myself out of the sludge, but I plugged along. Because that’s what I’ve learned to do. I just have to put one foot in front of the other. I have to keep going. Brush my teeth. Write out my to-do list. I have to go through the motions until the shadow drifts away. I have to starve the shadow with contrary action, instead of feeding it and giving in to the depression.

The scene from The Neverending Story with Atreyu and Artax in the Swamp of Sadness, I am both Atreyu and Artax, all the time.

Some days I wish I could just be back on medication, it would make everything so much easier. But I’m choosing not to spend money on medication, because I also know how to manage my life without it. Instead, I exercise, watch my diet (avoid trigger foods and drink), practice self-care rituals, and make an effort to see my friends and spend time with my husband. I find other ways to help me manage the depression. Now, if I felt I was slipping into a major depression or a double depression I would need to seek medication and attend therapy again. Wedding planning nearly put me into a major depression, but with a lot of self-therapy and a lot of French fries – I got through it. Yet, if I do have double depression that impacts the quality of my life to the point where my relationships and work suffer immensely that is when I will decide to reinvest and seek out psychiatric treatment.

I view my persistent depression similar to a person living with Type-1 diabetes. It’s something I have, it’s not who I am. It will also never go away, but I can manage it. Lastly, you don’t need to feel bad about it, because I don’t. I was having a conversation with my mom in which I was explaining the frequency of my really dark depressive episodes, and how I get through them, the cycle and she said “good, and you’re still alive.” I’m still alive. I’m still having fun and enjoying life and depressed at least 50% of the time. I’m ok with the fact I will likely never be 100% depression free. I just want other people, especially young people, with persistent depression to know that they can learn how to navigate the world with it and have a full life. I don’t have all the answers, but I do know you can have a life that you love, and still feel like life isn’t worth living, and then learn to love it again.

*I’ve decided to not weekly vlog. Mostly, because I’m even bored by the material I would have to edit together to make interesting. Creator rule #1 – make what you would want to consume. I don’t want to consume my week again.

** I’ve done my best to explain my life with depression in as concise a form as possible, I have likely oversimplified in some areas. So if there are any questions or desire for clarification, please leave a comment and I’d be happy to elaborate.

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HUMANE THREATS – SPITEFUL THINGS TO SAY THAT STILL RECOGNIZES YOU’RE SAYING IT TO ANOTHER HUMAN

HEALTH & WELLNESS - February 17, 2018

HUMANE THREATS – BE SPITEFUL WHILE STILL BEING MINDFUL

We’ve all been pissed before. We’ve all wished something bad on someone else. But in the age of the internet things escalate quickly, and it seems that people forget another human in on the other end of the venomous toxic message that is being sent out over the interweb. There is definitely a dehumanization occurring in society, a disintegration of civility, and maybe it’s because we interact with a screen more than actual people – but let’s bring back the humanity in our threats! You can be spiteful without forgetting that someone with a family, friends, and loved ones is on the receiving end of your vitriol. There are pretty vile people in this world, and the person you disagree with online is likely not the worst of them…

So, here are 25 things to say when really pissed off and disagree with someone besides…

“I hope you die.”

“You deserve to get raped.”

or

“Go kill yourself.”

  1. I hope you sweat through your clothes before an important interview
  2. I hope you get a mildly infected ingrown pubic hair
  3. I hope you get a bad haircut
  4. I hope you step in poison oak and have a non-deadly bad reaction
  5. I hope you run out of gas on the way to work
  6. I hope you accidentally delete 2 hours’ worth of work and have to start over
  7. I hope better people than you get tickets to that thing you want
  8. I hope you don’t fit into that outfit you love until you become a better person
  9. I hope when you arrive late for your dinner reservations, they can’t make space for you.
  10. You deserve to stub your toe and hit your funny bone on the same day
  11. You deserve for something you stood in line for to be sold out right before your turn
  12. You deserve to accidentally run your car into a parking pole
  13. You deserve pink eye on your wedding day
  14. You deserve to be passed up for a job promotion because you’re not awesome.
  15. You deserve food poisoning on your birthday
  16. You deserve to sit on a long flight next to someone with bad body odor
  17. You deserve to have food in your teeth all day, especially during something important
  18. You deserve to catch every red light, every time you drive, FOREVER
  19. You deserve to have your computer reboot and update before a deadline
  20. I hope you get a nose pimple
  21. I hope you get locked out of your car without AAA
  22. I hope you have to walk a long distance in the cold without a jacket
  23. I hope your air-conditioner breaks during the summer
  24. I hope you drop your ice cream cone
  25. I hope you have a MEDIOCRE day
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Bachelorette Zen

HEALTH & WELLNESS - September 19, 2017

I’m not a big party girl. Well, not anymore. And for my bachelorette party, I had no desire to head out to Vegas or get wasted bar hopping and dancing into the wee-hours of the morning. I’m just not that person. Just as unique as weddings are to each bride, so is their bachelorette party – and my bachelorette celebration was an amazing, relaxing, euphoria spa day at Glen Ivy with my sister, mom, aunt and two of my five bridesmaids.

Here is my Instagram caption highlighting the day. 

Yesterday, I turned off my phone and unplugged from the noise. Celebrating with my wonderful sister, bridesmaids, mom & aunt – we enjoyed a Glen Ivy spa day to the max! My favorite experience was soaking in a 102° hot tub and then dunking myself in a 62° freezing bath. It was invigorating. I need that in my life. It’s a shock to the system and now I get why Tony Robbins plunges into ice cold water every morning. 

We enjoyed saunas, a green mud grotto experience, a private hot tub next to our cabana. I’m pretty sure we had the same cabana the RHOOC lounged in too. We definitely had a VIP experience thanks to my amazing sister aka maid of honor. I just want to do it all over again, every Monday, from now till forever. Don’t think that is going to happen, but a girl can dream. 

Now I’m going to take a shower, and at the end rinse off in cold water. 

This post is a placeholder since I intend on posting photos of the day tonight. My little accountability/ motivation. I’m so zenned-out right now, it’s ridiculous. For as stressful as this wedding process has been, the amount of love and gratitude that fills my soul is overflowing and abundant. 💖

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OWNING MY JOURNEY

HEALTH & WELLNESS - August 26, 2017

I will beat the shame game by owning my journey.

Whenever I visit other blogs, I’m inspired or motivated to work on my own. Then when I’m on my blog, tinkering with widgets or brainstorming new content ideas, I start to look at my past content and want to hide it all. I have this itch for a fresh start. And just a few moments ago, I was reminded why I shouldn’t start all over again, and I should start owning my journey.

Blanket Fort Adventures is my longest blog relationship. I’ve been sharing my life online since 2003 under different names and on different platforms. And although an early adopter of blogging, the inconsistency in my online identity meant I was never in one place long enough to build up a readership. But Blanket Fort Adventures has been around for a while now, since December 2011, and the topics discussed, the focus – it’s been all over the place.  In 2017, an unfocused blog / purely online diary is a total faux pax. How do you grow that? Well, I’ll tell you it’s flipping difficult. So while in the midst of re-strategizing BFA, I scrolled through my Bloglovin profile looking at the visual inconsistency, the weak blog titles, and what caught my eye was all my road trip posts.

My cross-country road trip. My dream trip that I planned and executed in October of 2014. I went to the category all the posts are housed and just scrolled through all the adventures. I smiled. My eyes were wide, and I admired the woman in the pictures. I admired myself.  And that doesn’t happen very often.

After listening to a dozen or so interviews and Ted Talks with Brené Brown I’ve come to realize, I carry around a lot of shame. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always had the gremlins in my head saying I’m not enough and I’m not capable. As an adult, I combat them with daily affirmations and a bunch of other coping tools, but those gremlins are still pretty strong on a day to day basis. Especially since I started planning a wedding. 

As I looked back at my old road trip posts, at the bad graphic design and fuzzy photos, I silenced the gremlins of shame and decided to own my journey. My journey in blogging, relationships, career, life — everything. I’ve exposed parts of my journey, and I shouldn’t feel ashamed of it. I shouldn’t hide it in the pursuit of perfection either.  I am who I am.

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
― Brené Brown

The best thing for me to do now, for my blog and myself, is to come to a place of acceptance. I can pursue general self-improvement and creative growth with out it defining a lack of who I am. Yup, really have to work on moving out of a fixed mindset and into a growth mindset.  So, I’m not hiding it. I’m not hiding my countless attempts at a weekly Friday series with different names and formats. I’m not hiding the countless, “It’s been a while since I’ve blogged,” posts. I’m not hiding. My mistakes are exposed, so we can ALL learn from them.

Thank you for letting me share my journey with you. My imperfection. My shame.

p.s. I can’t help but feel a little silly to be having this deep reflection and dialogue with myself because of an analysis around my blog. But, it is a safe way to express a much deeper self-examination I’m experiencing. Because perpetual self-doubt and shame is nonconstructive and poisons the potential greatness that life possesses. There is a war between light and darkness going on outside of us, so we have to beat the battles within to win the war for love and light.    

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Acne Skin Story : How To Handle Cystic Acne

HEALTH & WELLNESS - June 29, 2017

*this post contains affiliate links – ie: if you purchase anything through the link, I get a little $*

Anti-biotics, laser treatments, birth control – I’ve tried it all to manage and clear my acne and none of it really worked. I wanted to share my acne skin story because I no longer have painful cystic breakouts and my regimen might help someone else out too.

When I was thirteen a boy named Henry said to me, “you have perfect skin.” This would have been a compliment except for the fact that I remember he was angry at me. He said it to me almost like a curse, like I didn’t understand the world because I had perfect skin and he would show me. Little did Henry know, that in six months from when he cursed my perfect skin, I’d get my first acne breakout. Cystic acne that would plague my adolescence and adulthood for the next fifteen years. I can’t for the life of me remember the interaction that led up to Henry cursing my perfect skin, but I will never forget that he did – because I haven’t seen it since.  My cheeks are covered in icepick scars and I’m never without some discoloration, but I can proudly say I have managed to get the upper hand on my acne.

Cystic Acne Clear SkinMy acne has gone in cycles, from 16 to 22 it was really bad, then around 23 to 26 it mellowed, but right around 27 it came back with a fury. The pimples were deep, red, and really pissed off. Up until the last few years, I’ve never experienced clear skin. At a minimum, I would have 3 -4 deep pimples on my face with a collection of blemishes, usually around my chin but the breakouts didn’t discriminate from my cheeks or forehead. My breakouts were painful. I’d just be living my life and my skin would hurt. When I’d sleep over at a boyfriend’s house, I’d wash off my makeup and wouldn’t get into the same bed unless the lights were off, I’d also wake up and put on makeup before my boyfriend was up. I’ve never understood people who can just wear a little coverup and be done. All the tutorials that suggest a little cover up/concealer for a quick morning routine never had acne. I’m illustrating my experience with acne because I want the person who also is 26 going – “why the hell do I still have acne” read this and gets that I understand them. Cause acne isn’t just one or two pimples that eventually go away. Acne is painful, all over, persistent, and leaves a mark (or dozens).

 

I’ve used the following regimen for over a year now and have clear skin because of it! Whenever I deviate and try different cleansers and moisturizers, the breakouts come back. Also, I used to believe in the “skin purging” story, but unless you’re using a serum that is accelerating cell turnover, the skin shouldn’t breakout and purge. The purge can be a sign of irritation, and a reason to stop using a certain product. So without further ado – here is what I use for my skin.

Femmenessence Macaharmony: I purchased Femmenessence MacaHarmony to help with menstrual cramps, but what it did for my skin makes me a forever advocate. When using the supplement my cramps are better, but unlike any oral solution before, the MacaHarmony helped to clear up my skin and keep it clear. The above Before picture was taken 2 days before starting Femenessence, within a month I saw a huge difference in my skin and by month three my skin was the clearest I’d seen since I was a kid. My skin was so terrible, I didn’t necessarily experience a breakout before it got better, my skin was just terrible and became wonderful. The supplement also helps with my fatigue. The company that makes Femmenessence MacaHarmony also has a medical team people can call to help advise with dosage or answer any questions, talk about AMAZING customer service. I can’t say enough nice things about Femmenessence.

80% of my clear skin is due to Femmenessence, and the other 20% to my actual skin care regimen. I’ve determined this because whenever I’ve deviated to new skincare products, while on Femmenessence, I’ll experience a few new breakouts. Not hormonal breakouts, but breakouts attributed to skin irritation. I’m so grateful for discovering this new routine, I’m ride or die with the following products too.

Philosophy Purity Made Simple Cleanser: Double cleansing is the ONLY way one should be washing their face. The first cleanse is to wash away all the makeup, dirt, pollution, and impurities. The best cleanser I have found for this is Philosophy’s Purity cleanser. It’s really gentle, but breakdowns makeup like a beast. I rarely have to use any eye-makeup remover. I also use Purity as my morning face wash too. I believe the more gentle you are with your skin when approaching acne the better. Most acne products are incredibly harsh and drying on the skin, and those suffering from acne are willing to ignore the fact these products speed up our skins aging process in the hopes of clear skin NOW. However, when I decided to be kinder to my skin, it started producing the desired results. Can’t blame it for breaking out, when I was irritating it twice a day with salicylic acid.

Mario Badescu Acne Facial Cleanser:  At night I follow up the Purity Cleanser with Mario Badescu’s Acne Facial Cleanser. This is the only step in my skincare routine that has the word “acne” on it, and I only use it once a day. I view the second facial cleanse as treatment.  The first cleansing to remove the dirt and makeup is prepping the area for treatment. The ingredients in the acne cleanser are able to penetrate deeper and manage the bacteria that causes acne, because it’s not fighting through other junk to get to the real culprit of a pimple. The MB Acne Facial Cleanser contains salicylic acid to combat acne, but also has amazing skin soothing ingredients like Aloe Vera, Chamomile, Thyme Extracts, and Hyaluronic Acid for ultimate hydration. All the loving ingredients in the MB Acne cleanser have been kind to my skin as a treatment solution, especially since I’ve found most acne cleanser are extremely aggressive and irritating to the skin. And when the skin is angry, it can cause more problems instead of less.

Rosehip Oil:  The use of oils on the skin have been on the rise in the last 6 years and for good reason. IT’S AMAZING!! Although I double cleanse with gentle products, I’m still removing a lot of the natural oils from my face and leaving it thirsty for some hydration, and nothing beats treating my face to rosehip oil before bed. I started using it because I read that the way to combat oily skin was to use oils on the skin. It seems counter-intuitive but actually, makes total sense. The skin will produce excess oil because it’s not balanced and needs more hydration than it’s being provided. When you start using oil on your skin, the skin soaks it in better than most standard facial moisturizers, and in turn, stops producing excess oil. Well, after testing this myself for over 2 years – that science is fact. I have the most balanced and supple skin! In the morning my skin glows and not from being “oily”, it’s because it’s still hydrated from the night before. Also, Rosehip oil helps with healing minor scars and discoloration, which in my before and after picture you can tell a lot of my hyperpigmentation has faded, and mostly because of rosehip oil. It is a bit smelly, so I will follow up the rosehip oil with a drop or two of tea tree oil. I just dab the tea tree oil around my chin mostly and a little around my nose for aromatherapy and then call it a night.

I don’t recommend Rosehip Oil for the morning because it is an oil and makeup will not go on properly, but at night it’s perfect. By the time I’m done brushing my teeth, the oil has soaked into my skin enough that I don’t feel I’m going to leave an oil stain on my pillowcase. p.s. I have a black pillowcase, so not sure what this would do to a white pillow case night after night, however, I haven’t really had any embarrassing issues at hotels. 

BONUS

Ponds Cold Cream: Since I was doing a blog post on my skin care regimen, I wanted to add the fact I use Ponds Cold Cream to remove my eye makeup. I don’t use it every day, but if after the Purity Cleanser I still have makeup residue around my eyes I use the cold cream. I started using Ponds Cold Cream as an eye makeup remover 6 years ago and I’m so happy I did because it’s helped me with fine lines and wrinkles around my eyes. The extra hydration from the cream has been acting like an eye cream for the last half-decade and I didn’t even realize it until now. My mom has always been a Ponds Cold Cream woman, so when all the eye makeup removers I purchased started to hurt my eyes or need too much rubbing to remove the makeup, I turned to a classic. All I do is gently apply some of the cold cream to the eye makeup I want to remove and then swipe it away with a cotton pad. Super fast, easy, and no rubbing that can cause those pesky signs of aging. I had to give some major props to this classic oldy but goodie. The tub lasts FOREVER, and it so gentle and nourishing. I’m so happy I started using this because I didn’t start using a legit eye-cream until now. When I went to go purchase my first eye cream, the saleswoman thought I was 21 – yup not so much, but thanks for the compliment.

The above products are what have worked for me in a way that no other skin care regimen ever has. A common issue with those with acne is not just trying to cover up the discoloration with makeup, but fighting with the less than stellar texture of our skin as well. I’m so happy and thankful for figuring out what works for my skin because now I know the texture of my skin on my wedding day will actually be nice. That might be super shallow and vain, but when you’ve had a hard time going to sleep because you just have a painful breakout across your face and can’t lay down on your side like normal, clear skin starts to mean something a little more to you than just vanity. It means comfort in my your body, and reinforced confidence in your mind.

Everyone’s skin is different and treatment of acne is going to be different, but if you haven’t found a solution yet I urge you to test mine out. It’s really great for sensitive skin and has changed my life. Until this stops working, I’m not changing anything in my nighttime skin care regimen for acne.

Disclaimer: I’m not a dermatologist. I’m not a skin expert. This has all been stated from my personal experience dealing with acne and how I cleared my skin. I’m an expert in living with acne.

 

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Time to Bloom : Life & Balance

HEALTH & WELLNESS, SNAIL MAIL - May 29, 2017

Hyperlinks marked with an asterisk are affiliate links. This means that if you buy something through the link, I get paid a little something for the recommendation. 

The second quarter of this year has been interesting. On the outside life was taken up a few notches with work, festivals, and school (yes I’m taking classes – more on that in a different post). But on the inside, creatively, I fell into a deep lull. I believe total wholeness is achieved when one can strike a balance between creative fulfillment and adult obligation. It’s more like a pendulum than a scale, but if the ball continues to swing back and forth, then there is a cosmic balance. Instead, my chain got tangled up on one end of the spectrum. I’ve taken some time to untangle that specific ball and chain and ready to kick the pendulum back into action.

Surprisingly, it was my dog Lou who helped me take this necessary break. A few weeks ago, on the 17th to be exact, we found out she was internally bleeding. Her platelet count was 11, and a healthy dog has between 100 – 170 platelets. The news of her health left me feeling completely helpless. I had no idea how she got so sick. The vet says it’s likely an auto-immune diseases and the GREAT news is that she does seem to be responding well to the steroid treatment the doctor prescribed. But, we won’t know for certain until her second blood test later this week. Once she got sick, I put my social life on hold. The steroid treatment is multiple times a day, at the same time. It’s causing her to urinate every hour. And since we weren’t sure what caused the internal bleeding, I started making her homemade dog food ( just in case it was her diet). The hyper-attention to her health helped give me the time to reflect on my own. I’m not happy she got sick, but I guess I see the silver-lining in the whole situation. The universe has a way of helping us when we are unaware of how to help ourselves.

While I’ve been taking extra care of Lou (and myself), I’ve been reading  *”You’re A Badass: How To Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life” by Jen Sincero. It’s AMAZING!! The book contains a lot of information I was previously aware of, but her words and the way she writes is helping to flip on lightbulbs left and right in my brain. My synapses are firing! I haven’t finished the book yet, but I  highly recommend it. I’ve started to apply a few of the principles, and already, I’m seeing big cosmic shifts. Even this book was a part of helping to untangle the mess I found myself in.  I made the following video, “Time To Bloom”  as my first step to reigniting my creative spark, and also to recognize I’m ready to do thinks a little differently.

Thank you for being my buds!

love & light

 

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It’s National Compliment Day & You’re Awesome!

HEALTH & WELLNESS, HUSTLE & FLOW - January 24, 2017

It’s another silly holiday that makes life a little more fun, it’s National Compliment Day. Now, I believe compliments should be sprinkled around like glitter because they bring joy and will stick to you all day. Compliments are free gifts of happiness that anyone can give and receive. Inspired to celebrate National Compliment Day I created 3 fun compliments that can be shared with your friends, coworkers, family members or basically anyone you think fits the below compliments. If you want to take this digital compliment offline and give it to someone IRL (in real life), then just print them out using the PDF link I have below. They are large enough to write your own message on the back and are guaranteed to make someone smile. I genuinely think you’re awesome for checking out my compliments post and I hope you make someone else’s day awesome too.

Happy National Compliment Day! 

click here for the PDF: Compliments_IRL

National Compliment Day_Hustle

National Compliment Day_ Brains and Beauty

National Compliment Day_Badass

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