It’s been two weeks since I began my Abstinence August life change and I felt it would be only appropriate to give you updates with supporting Buffy The Vampire Slayer gifs.
I feel your judging eyes, but I’ve given myself a loophole. A Hulu loophole. Why? Because sometimes I have no motivation to work, no motivation to get in front of my computer – because sometimes I deal with depression. And at the beginning of this month, I was/been slipping in and out of a depression. So I used Buffy, my favorite television show of all time as motivation to get in front of my computer and get to work! I treat myself to an episode while checking emails and then I go on with my day. It’s my little loophole of happiness. It doesn’t hurt anyone, can be easily managed, and puts a little pep in my digital step.
One thing I’ve noticed these past two weeks is that I’m really bad a grocery shopping. I’m used to buying a few groceries and dining out for at least half of my weekly meals. The first week I visited the grocery store, Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday; purchasing frozen pizza, frozen single serving meals, and an occasional produce item. Eventually, I upgraded to a full shopping cart but all the pieces were haphazardly thrown together. I purchased an Acorn squash to stuff with a chickpea curry, yeah – I have yet to make that. But, I’ve stuck to not dining out. I have not purchased fast food or take out with my own money. I have been treated to a wonderful meal in Santa Barbara by Dan and a few meals by my Mom, cause she’s awesome, but the only place I have purchased food is the grocery store.
I have not had any alcohol. Yay! And I’ve had my moments of temptation. After an amazing day hiking in Santa Barbara with Dan, we went out to dinner in SB and all I wanted was a cold beer. We even waited in a bar before our table was ready, but I stuck to my guns and just reminded myself of how it would sour a perfectly good day to let myself down. Then this past weekend while we went to see DIIV play in Long Beach, there were many hours to kill beforehand and lots of beer around us. Once again, it would have been nice to unwind with a cocktail at a bar nearby, a glass of wine with dinner, or a beer during the opening act – but abstinence August kept me on the straight and narrow.
Well, it’s been fun to have this little life-change filter put on my everyday. Taking away my normal comforts has forced me to confront my feelings more immediately. It’s been uncomfortable, but in the last week I’ve been laughing more at things that would normally frustrate me. I’ve been cooking for Dan and being able to serve him a warm meal at the end of the day does fill my heart. Since giving up Netflix as a normal escape I finished a book, and that gave me a wild sense of fulfillment. (sometimes it doesn’t take much to make me happy) And yes, I am looking forward to a whiskey cocktail or glass of wine, but I will be playing the whole picture of my day and week ahead before indulging. So half-way through and feeling strong. Oh, I’ve even made plans with a friend – although we’ve yet to agree on a time. Better make it a coffee date!
[…] like I had hoped, but I did learn a few things about myself, most of which I reported on in my mid-month update. So here is what I’ve come to learn and accept in the last ten […]