redefining wanderlust

a life blog by Bekka

Posts for ted talk

OWNING MY JOURNEY

I will beat the shame game by owning my journey.

Whenever I visit other blogs, I’m inspired or motivated to work on my own. Then when I’m on my blog, tinkering with widgets or brainstorming new content ideas, I start to look at my past content and want to hide it all. I have this itch for a fresh start. And just a few moments ago, I was reminded why I shouldn’t start all over again, and I should start owning my journey.

Blanket Fort Adventures is my longest blog relationship. I’ve been sharing my life online since 2003 under different names and on different platforms. And although an early adopter of blogging, the inconsistency in my online identity meant I was never in one place long enough to build up a readership. But Blanket Fort Adventures has been around for a while now, since December 2011, and the topics discussed, the focus – it’s been all over the place.  In 2017, an unfocused blog / purely online diary is a total faux pax. How do you grow that? Well, I’ll tell you it’s flipping difficult. So while in the midst of re-strategizing BFA, I scrolled through my Bloglovin profile looking at the visual inconsistency, the weak blog titles, and what caught my eye was all my road trip posts.

My cross-country road trip. My dream trip that I planned and executed in October of 2014. I went to the category all the posts are housed and just scrolled through all the adventures. I smiled. My eyes were wide, and I admired the woman in the pictures. I admired myself.  And that doesn’t happen very often.

After listening to a dozen or so interviews and Ted Talks with Brené Brown I’ve come to realize, I carry around a lot of shame. Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always had the gremlins in my head saying I’m not enough and I’m not capable. As an adult, I combat them with daily affirmations and a bunch of other coping tools, but those gremlins are still pretty strong on a day to day basis. Especially since I started planning a wedding. 

As I looked back at my old road trip posts, at the bad graphic design and fuzzy photos, I silenced the gremlins of shame and decided to own my journey. My journey in blogging, relationships, career, life — everything. I’ve exposed parts of my journey, and I shouldn’t feel ashamed of it. I shouldn’t hide it in the pursuit of perfection either.  I am who I am.

“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
― Brené Brown

The best thing for me to do now, for my blog and myself, is to come to a place of acceptance. I can pursue general self-improvement and creative growth with out it defining a lack of who I am. Yup, really have to work on moving out of a fixed mindset and into a growth mindset.  So, I’m not hiding it. I’m not hiding my countless attempts at a weekly Friday series with different names and formats. I’m not hiding the countless, “It’s been a while since I’ve blogged,” posts. I’m not hiding. My mistakes are exposed, so we can ALL learn from them.

Thank you for letting me share my journey with you. My imperfection. My shame.

p.s. I can’t help but feel a little silly to be having this deep reflection and dialogue with myself because of an analysis around my blog. But, it is a safe way to express a much deeper self-examination I’m experiencing. Because perpetual self-doubt and shame is nonconstructive and poisons the potential greatness that life possesses. There is a war between light and darkness going on outside of us, so we have to beat the battles within to win the war for love and light.    

Awesome Brené Brown Videos:

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END OF YEAR GIVEAWAY | CLOSED – WINNER SELECTED

FUN

a Rafflecopter giveaway

CLICK HERE TO GO TO MY INSTAGRAM – @blanketfortadventures

END OF YEAR GIVEAWAY PRIZES
° 1 Page At A Time: A Daily Creative Companion by @adamjk
° Pineapple Stamp Set by @yellowowlworkshop
° “I will not compare myself to strangers on the internet” card by @emilymcdowell_
° 24 Colored Pencils in a chic box by @galisongift
° Three lightly loved & sun bleached 36 HOURS USA & CANADA books by @Taschen ((THEY WERE ON SALE & AWESOME))
° $50 Amoeba Gift Card ( that can be used online)
° 2 Silly & Adorable Magnets

RULES & SMALL PRINT:
° 18+ / or have guardian’s permission
° Open to US & CANADA only
° Winner will be selected at random
° EOY giveaway closes 1/7/2016 12:00am EST
° Prize Value: $130
° I have purchased all the products myself as a fun way to say so long 2016.

 How Winner Was Selected After The Jump

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REAL TALK : It’s Time for Super Better

*banner illustrated and photo adjusted by ME!

“In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun and ‘snap’, the job’s a game.” – Mary Poppins

I decided to throw away Monday, meaning I forgave myself for being completely unproductive. Feeling bloated, squishy, ugly, and bleh; I came home and washed my face to remove all the metephorical grime from the day. Makeup off and hair treated with oil, secured in a high ponytail with a sparkly teal hair tie; I proceeded to put on a face mask that made me identical to Shrek and RELAXED.

Some days you just can’t salvage, and although Monday wasn’t the worst of them it certainly wasn’t the best. I have a huge project I need to get done at work and it has turned me into a procrastinating sixteen-year old who is avoiding getting their research done, which is essentially 95% of this project. With yesterday gone and a new day and new possibilities upon me, I’ve decided it’s time for SUPER BETTER.

Super Better was the TedTalk my cousin brought to my attention, it essentially talks about the strength and health benefits in making life a game. I need Super Better right now as I see bad habits and bad attitudes lurking around every day and interaction. There is a website where you can formally sign up for a Super Better account, make allies, get real points etc, but I have a few of my own rules and point earning challenges I want to do.

Here are my Super Better game Goals/Challenges:

GOALS:

1. Finish “Solutions Project” by August 2, 2013

2. Save Money – Two Week Specific: DO NOT BUY FOOD/COFFEE AT WORK!!!

3. Book – Two Week Specific: Finish Chapter 15 / Get to Middle of Ch. 16

CHALLENGES/REWARDS:

1. For every two “research” websites I read, I can read one fun articles

2. Every time I want to buy a treat/ go out to lunch, write down the price of the meal and then look up a cool restaurant café to go to on the road trip at the end of the week deposit the money I would have spent on the food into my Dream Fund.

3. Every chapter I finish I get one Guilt Free  day off.

I have a lot more goals, point allocation,  and game challenges I want to share. But these are the major ones for the next two weeks. When it comes to goal making its level of success is just as important of as the goal itself to prevent one from being discouraged. Breaking it down into two week spans makes it munchable, easy to digest and accomplish.

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I adore her : Tavi Gevinson TedxTeen Talk

I’d like to say I think we all are always figuring it out, I never think I have it figured out, but I’m happy the youths (young women) of today have a cool chick like her to look up too and have an awesome site to go to for advice. Cause teen magazine(s) sucks, especially for the alternative teen.

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