The Non-Definitive Guide To Life

a blog for people who still read

Posts for relationships

Bushes & Trees, roots of Friendship!

My sister and I talk about this often, the group of friend dynamic versus the having friends from different walks of life.  Are a bush or a tree? Neither dynamic is right or wrong, it is just different ways of interacting with people and engaging with life.  There are people who have the same group of friends they hang out with often, they go on vacation with them, plan group birthday parties, dinner table of 7 etc. But trees, they have friendships that tend to be navigated more independently of each other.  With one trunk, that person at times brings friends together, and meets other people based off core (stronger) branches, but most of the friends are independent of each other. I had this discussion with my friend Jon a few weeks ago as we were driving over to an art show he invited me to at Warner Music Group.  We became friends in a roundabout way, but he introduced me to another new friend Heather, who I ran into at the art show as she is a co-worker of Jon and the WMG show was sort of an “industry” thing (after having met at a party for Jon’s girlfriend) and invited her to wine tasting the following Monday with my co-workers.

He sort of saw the Bush vs. Tree thing like one was good and the other bad, I saw him more like a Bush but he sort of fought to be a Tree. I told him he was more like a tree with bushes at the end, like a Japanese tree.  Well after the art show, Jon and I headed over to a pizza spot where we hung out with one of his branches, his branches that possessed a little bush at the top because everyone we were eating with knew each other.

Anyway the rest of that same weekend was spent hanging out with various branches of my own trunk. Cause yes I am a tree, and the whole meeting Heather through Jon that is just basically how I make more friends. I have a lot of friends (not insanely close but people whos company I enjoy), and sometimes none of them are available to hang out. Like having cable, there are a ton of channels with nothing on; but every so often and most of the time when there is something on it’s a really epic movie from the 80’s that makes me roll on the ground laughing and have an amazing time!

*this all happened in May, now into June I have met more people I would like to get to know better and have spent multiple weekends out and about till 3am. The plethora of stories and adventures I have to share, just need to commit to writing it down.

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Tom is Stupid & Summer is a Bitch

FUN

Last night I watched 500 Days of Summer, one of my favorite movies that I had not watched in a while. Cinematic-ally it is still one of my favs, stylistically one of my favs, but I looked at the story in a whole new light and I have to say; Tom you are absolutely retarded and Summer you’re a fucking bitch!
When I first saw this movie (500 Days of Summer) I thought the world of Tom, and empathized with Summer. Now in lieu of being strung along by a guy, letting someone else mean more to me than my own self-worth and wellbeing, and having my own heart completely disregarded with no care in the world. I would like to say I deserved every painful, long drawn out crying fit or torturous painful *anorexia induced stress and stomach retching ache because I “loved” him or thought “he was the one”. And I decided yes we will be friends and someday he will love me, etc. Until one day I woke up like Tom drawing on his wall and decided enough of this, I’m moving on.

But just as N.D, knew I was in love with him, and should have let this poor struggling fish off the damn line and not say “let’s be friends”. Summer should have said, “Hi Tom, sorry I’m just not in love with you and don’t think I ever will be let’s go our separate ways”. Don’t dance with him; don’t give him morsels of hope to be choked on later by an engagement ring!!

I’m not that great at dating, as I have “value” issues to deal with. You know saying “I’m better than this” or “I deserve to be pursued” lots of lingo like that. I can get clingy or want to move to fast out of a deep knowing that “hell he doesn’t want a relationship with me anyways so what the hell”. But I’m changing and growing. A part of that is to NOT BE A FRIEND, with someone you really like or was in a relationship with because it only leads to you being emotionally abused and mind fucked.

In conclusion, Tom I hoped you learned your lesson and Summer I’m glad you got married cause you should no longer talk to your ex’s, that is just bad form!

*I was not anorexic. But my calorie count was around 500 at some point cause I just couldn’t eat and I drank a lot of high-calorie sodas/juices to keep blood sugar up– I was a mess.

 

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