Apparently my dog really mellows out to “All Mirrors” by Angel Olsen…
Top Five of May :
“Quarantine” – Levitation Room
“Twenty Four Hour Party People” – Happy Mondays
“Cynical Girl” – Marshall Crenshaw
“Jewelry” – Blood Orange
“Hope to Die” – Orville Peck
*Bonus: “Automechanic” – Jenny O.
📷: June 1, 2020 – Self Portrait
A seam in the space-time continuum has burst, and we are in a new dimension.
My eyes are glazed and red from the tears. My face – puffy and pink from the crying. Our country is screaming out in pain, and this was my self-portrait for June 1, 2020.
Roses & Thorns
- Moved our mattress into the den for a Friday night sleepover
- Went on a beautiful long drive
- Watched Julio Torres Zoom Fundraiser “My Sun Aquarius”
- Watching a woman use her whiteness as a weapon on Christian Cooper
- Watching the life drain out of George Floyd
An hour before I took this self-portrait, I had done some breathwork. The exercise triggering an avalanche of pain and gratitude to pour out of me, my face soaked with tears. I cried over the victims of police violence. I cried over the hatred that people spew. I cried over the chosen ignorance of those who refuse to recognize the system of racism in our country. I was crying because I felt guilty and filled with shame for the times I participated in a system that has oppressed black people. My intentions were good, but I wasn’t practicing anti-racism in my life. I was failing the people I love because I had grown apathetic and convinced that I could never take down our countries system of abuse – I certainly couldn’t solve this problem.
The apathy translated into a complete ignorance of our local and state governments. A total unawareness of how city budgets get allocated to departments. Asleep at the wheel focused on the federal system, instead of paying closer attention to the dumpster fire in my own backyard. I would pay attention to the props in state elections, but not the weekly city council debates. Blind to my influence over the judges who decide how to sentence non-violent criminals; probation and rehabilitation or maximum sentencing because the person fit into the box of “societal nuisance.”
I wasn’t ready to write my May Snail Mail Letter until now. Twenty-days from when I snapped the self-portrait and twenty-seven days since the death of George Floyd.
It’s hard to think about how to write a recap of May when it feels like a completely different world. A seam in the space-time continuum has burst, and we are in a new dimension. One where people are brave enough to protest amidst a deadly pandemic. All walks of life coming together to risk their health and breath to make sure no black man gasps “I CAN’T BREATHE” on camera again. The chance at a new kind of society. A new approach to equality. An end to the allowances made for the generations before us.Continue Reading
I am an imperfect ally. I have a full post on this statement on page 2 but first the art.
An Instagram friend @joannathejoyful shared out a powerful quote about art and protest, that I wish I remembered/recalled, but its sentiment has been with me this entire week and inspired me to curate a collection of art and graphic design work from Instagram. I searched the #GeorgeFloyd and #BlackLivesMatter hashtags on Instagram and pulled the pieces that resonated most with me.
I have not reached out to the individual artists for permission to share. I will happily remove any artwork from individuals who do not wish to be featured in this post.
🎨 currently unknown artist x please let me know
🎨 Arty B: https://www.instagram.com/artybraud/
🎨 Broobs: https://www.instagram.com/broobs.psd/<center>
🎨 Monyee Chau : https://www.instagram.com/monyeeart/
the artist has made a very important update to her post/art acknowledging the complicated racial implications of the image she created and the damage of the “model minority” narrative has had on black people.
🎨 Nikkolas Smith : https://www.instagram.com/nikkolas_smith/
🎨 Shirien: https://www.instagram.com/shirien.creates/
🎨 Rudy Willingham : https://www.instagram.com/rudy_willingham/
🎨 Jess Bird : https://www.instagram.com/blessthemessy/
🎨 Danielle Coke : https://www.instagram.com/ohhappydani/
🎨 Sakina Saïdi : https://www.instagram.com/heyimsakina/
Click to page 2 for more thoughts on being an imperfect ally….
Please excuse my lack of words and ability to string them together in a fancy sentence structure.
I’m feeling drained.
I’m feeling tired.
Brain = Jello
But I have a great interview with the band Draag that I’m excited to post and I have a weird hang-up about back to back interviews. So thankfully I have this Sounds Like post I can put up between Camari Carter’s interview and Draag.
I admit this Sounds Like post is a bit of a reach, but I swear there is something here. I am picking up on some musical patterns and I hope you are too.
Harry Style’s ‘Sign of the Times’ sounds like Dr. Dog’s ‘Abandon Mansions’
Let me know your thoughts in the comments below.
One of my favorite podcasts, Fishnet Flix, dissects the fashion looks of different films and taking a page out of their book, I’d like to start sharing the looks I love from various movies I enjoy too — whenever the mood may strike.
Yesterday, I was in the mood for watching a film that had a dreamy stylized aesthetic and an uplifting storyline. Surprisingly, I find that combination is hard to come by unless you watch movies from the sixties or fifties. And that is how I landed on re-watching the 1961 classic ‘The Parent Trap’ on Disney+. I remember loving the looks in the film as a kid and always liked the original better than the Lindsay Lohan remake.
So without further ado, here are ripped copyrighted moments from ‘The Parent Trap’ all rights reserved to Buena Vista Films and Disney. Hopefully, this post will land in the realm of educational use.
Can we all agree that vintage bathing suits are just SO MUCH more stylish than today’s scantily clad looks!? I love this gingham print suit on Sharon, and although it’s a look for a modest teen, this modest thirty-something would rock it in a heartbeat.Continue Reading
My mother is one of the most intelligent and resilient women I know, and for this Mother’s Day, I’m going to stop being ashamed that I live with her.
Yes, I’m a thirty-three-year-old married woman with an established career who lives with their mother. For the past 15 years, I’ve carried a growing shame about living with her, and it wasn’t until I was in quarantine with my Mom did I unpack that baggage.
Shame is interesting, it’s non-discriminate, and regardless of status, it finds a way to infect our souls. A seed that is planted in our psyche and grows over time, influencing how we move through the world, protecting the little secrets we have around our shame. Movies, television shows, media, in general, has painted the picture of a very pathetic adult who lives with their parent. A person who is unmotivated, non-directional, a slacker, lazy, ungrateful, entitled, a stunted-adult who is irresponsible and has a bad case of Peter Pan syndrome. It’s a characterization that I don’t identify with and does not accurately depict my husband at all. I am absolutely terrified of being boxed in by that stereotype. If the story were flipped and my mother happened to be living with me in my house, I’d be painted with a sweet altruistic multi-generational home narrative, but that isn’t my story. I would be lying if I tried to spin that story too. Instead, I’m tangled up in my shame because except for a small three-month stint in Venice when I was 20 and living with a few co-workers, I’ve never lived on my own.Continue Reading
📷: May 1, 2020 – Self Portrait
The construct of time disintegrating into a Salvador Dali painting made of sand.
At the beginning of this year, I decided I would take a self-portrait on the first day of each month. Well, on the first day of May, I had forgotten entirely about my self-portrait until I was comfy in bed, ready to take off to dreamland. So, I grabbed my phone and started snapping away – and I really like the resulting shot. It captures the peace and surrender that I have found within to navigate this pandemic storm.
Roses & Thorns:
- Celebrating Easter with a charcuterie board and Trolls World Tour
- Hosted a happy hour with my sister and two of my besties
- Discovering Mindy’s 5 mg THC edibles ( I like the Clementine and Key Lime flavor)
- Emergency root canal
- Car being broken into
Where the f*ck did April go?
We’re 8 days into May and I’m finally getting my April playlist up. One of my longest playlists to date. I’ve always been a music fan, there are examples of it all over this blog, but this past month I leaned on music in a way I haven’t experienced since my late teens.
Is the uncertainty of the time bringing me back to the simple escapism of a good tune — possibly (probably).
Top Five of April:
“Still Life” – The Horrors
“Night of the Vampire” – The Moontrekkers
“Fuck Up” – Sarah Shook & The Disarmers
“Pool Party” – Rudy Willingham
“Money – Edit” – The Flying Lizard
Steaming is up by 34% if not more, and I would like to say I am a part of that statistic, but it doesn’t feel like my consumption of streaming content has gone up by too much. However, this is the first time I’m finally coming out with a “What I’ve Been Watching” post — so, I’ve obviously been watching enough content to be inspired to share what I’ve discovered.
A super weird little indie film that involves an abusive toxic puppet named Chippy that sounds exactly like my internal dialogue sometimes. Yeah, that is how I want to describe this movie, because if you can’t sign off on a toxic puppet – then you will have a real hard time signing off on the rest of this indie picture. We basically follow two young people over the course of a weekend in Joshua Tree, and while watching the movie you’re not exactly sure if you’re in on a joke or just watching two people in a Southern California terrarium. It’s no longer available on Hulu, but you can rent it on Google Play and Amazon Prime for $3.99. If you’re down for weird, have an edible, and bored of everything else; then definitely watch The Relationtrip
I was surprised by how much I loved this movie. The soundtrack is fantastic and the acting impeccable. When I saw the trailer I was intrigued because of the music, but then was afraid it would be another dull indie movie similar to Neon Demon. A movie that is all aesthetic.
A common flaw of the indie or alt-film genre is that storylines can veer into the lane of either too complicated or too subtle to be enjoyable. A waste of my time. But Teen Spirit wasn’t! The singing competition is merely a vehicle to tell a more meaningful story about relationship dynamics.
I love ripping on bad trailers. Trailers that don’t make sense for movies at all and get the heart of the movie all wrong. Unfortunately, I can’t fault the trailer of Teen Spirit, because a trailer about the heart of the film – wouldn’t have motivated anyone to actually watch it. It’s like a hidden treasure for those who take the time to enjoy this film. It’s still available on Hulu, and you don’t need cannabis to enjoy it.
Under The Silver Lake
This movie is one of those indie movies that is too damn complicated for its own good and the fact it’s filmed in my backyard* can’t even save it. I wanted to like it, and I just couldn’t. It’s a 2 hour and 20 minute self-indulgent mess. It’s a bad date with a really cute guy. It’s available on Amazon Prime and I had to watch it over the course of two days because I gave up on Friday night, and am in quarantine and had nothing better to do with my Saturday morning – so I finished it. The ending wasn’t satisfying. The whole experience was mildly frustrating. So if you want an exercise in patience and enjoy self-torture, again – it’s available on Amazon Prime
*I live about 20 miles away from Silver Lake (silver lake area) but still consider it my backyard because I grew up in a suburb of LA and as soon as I could drive I went to Sunset Junction and fell in love. It’s no longer the city of my youth, but it still has a special place in my heart.
If you enjoyed Cube, I think you will like The Platform, but you’ll need to read subtitles unless you’re fluent in Spanish. An incredibly unique film that puts a microscope on human nature. Can’t lie, it can be a little triggering especially given the current state of our world amidst a pandemic. An analysis on selfishness, indulgence, desperation, and privilege – oh it’s a think piece that might leave you a bit more unsettled than you were expecting. Violence, gore, and jumpsuits are involved; but if you get past the grim you get to enjoy a really great story. I’m jealous that I didn’t come up with the story. The movie is available on Netflix.
I don’t like Scarlett Johansson. I love Adam Driver. Movie was mediocre. A basic latte. A beige sweater. It probably did so well with the Hollywood crowd because it’s a highly accurate picture of divorce …. fun ? ? ? I only watched it because I was already in a bad mood and kept me in the same place.
Need I say more…