Holly Golightly wore many masks, and this was one of her few authentic moments.
Last night my sister told me, in that loving way only big sisters can, that my writing has been boring. My blog posts have been dry and don’t have my voice. Well written with less grammatical errors than in the past, but it lacks that special sparkle that comes just from me. It’s missing my voice. And I took this harsh and honest criticism in the best way a twenty-something younger sister can, I hemmed and hawed, hung up the phone and ranted about my stupid sister to my boyfriend. Then as I laid in my bed, belly face down, those terrible words any person hates to utter slipped from my mouth, “She’s right.”
I’ve been feeling the pressure to get my stories from the road out of me and posted up. Partly because I fear the memories will become too distant, and partly because I want to write about the present. So I’m pumping out my posts.like a factory writer, instead of letting my heart guide me and build this blog organically. It’s like my brain signed a contract saying, “You must first finish all stories from the road trip before sharing any other adventure you experience!” Approaching the road trip posts like a job, has in turn made these posts sound just like my ‘work personality’ and not my authentic self.
See my profession is social media management and blog/copy writing. And for the past three years I have been paid to write in the voice of companies, causing myself to lose my own artistic voice. I’ve definitely become a better overall writer, but my personality was dulled in the process. The main company I was with the last three years was soul crushing and toxic. While there I think I let them steal some of my sparkle. In the last three years, I had less energy, lost my sense of playfulness and ‘fun aunt’ title, and I didn’t write for myself (ie: blog and interview people) nearly as much as I had in the past. I love interviewing people and blogging, it’s seriously my strange addiction. Even the ‘boring’ posts I’ve been happy to upload, I do get a rush from the ‘publish’ button. But I’ve always wanted to do different kinds of posts and didn’t because of that strange agreement.
I know the key to successful blog/ online personality is to be authentic. I’d be lying to say I wouldn’t love to do partnerships and have this be my platform. But no one is going to read my posts, and want to be a part of my journey unless I’m authentic. I know I have this fantastic way of lying to myself. Many times I’ve convinced myself/ lied to myself into bad relationships. I construct the right answer, not the true answer. I construct an accurate post, not an authentic story. Plus why am I afraid of the memories becoming too distant, memories marinate and get better with time – not worse! Now I’m working freelance. I have 24 hours a day to manifest whatever I desire. A toxic free environment. I won’t feel drained when I come home because I wouldn’t have been exerting energy just to remain sane. I’m in the process of being my authentic self again. I am going to create a blog schedule/ calendar for myself; because it’s a way of dedicating more time to what makes me happy. But I’m going to stop writing my posts like I think they should sound, and instead write them like they want to sound.
Thank you for letting me be authentic. It’s not easy to be, but it’s a better way to be.
You know that western decease called anxiety. Well I have it, and when I’m invited to pot-lucks, bbqs, picnics, or any event in which I’m supposed to bring a dish. The inner 1950’s housewife and totally lazy cook in me conflict. I want to make something impressive and delicious, but I look at my schedule and realize I have max 3 hours to make something before midnight without driving myself insane. I was invited to a birthday party that involved a picnic element, and as it was an exceptionally stressful week I decided to throw myself into making a vegetarian feast. That aside, in the midst of my stress cooking I discovered the Southwest Quinoa Salad. It is the dream side dish of my inner lazy cook, and my new favorite quick simple healthy salad. The only thing you cook is the quinoa and the rest of the steps can be done while the grain is in the pot. Total process for the most novice chef is 30minutes tops, and that’s me assuming one has no cutting skills.
So lets get to it…
Can of Corn
Can of Black Beans (plain)
Green Onion (4 stocks)
Red Bell Pepper
(my trader joes didn’t have any good bell pepper so I bought the cute mini ones)
Chili Powder & Garlic Salt
One serving of quinoa does the trick, so cook according to the instructions on the package.
Now while the quinoa is cooking, rinse your corn and beans.
After they have been thoroughly rinsed place in a separate bowl.
Then chop up the green onion, red bell pepper, and cilantro into tiny pieces; think the same size as the corn.
- Combine the green onion, red bell pepper, and cilantro into the bowl with black beans and corn
- Toss all the ingredients together
- Squeeze lime juice in with the veggies an beans
- Sprinkle chili powder ( ¼ teaspoon is safe) and garlic salt to flavor
P.S DON’T FORGET YOUR QUINOA IN THE PROCESS
I like to place the quinoa and bowl of wonders in the same ziplock bag and mix it together; massage, shake, or wooden spoon stir. I like things that are self-contained, like a silent panic attack.
Personally I feel its best served chilled, so throw in the fridge for a bit. Also it does lack salt, but when paired with other foods like BBQ ribs or a pulled pork sandwich it’s the perfect balance. So bring in a ziplock and throw in a bowl, or prepare individual servings of cute mason jars; this is my favorite no brainer pot luck, bbq, picnic side dish/ salad. The lazy cook loves it, and so does my perfectionist fifties housewife.
Tweet me if you remix or try this salad @basicallybekka
*banner illustrated and photo adjusted by ME!
“In every job that must be done, there is an element of fun. You find the fun and ‘snap’, the job’s a game.” – Mary Poppins
I decided to throw away Monday, meaning I forgave myself for being completely unproductive. Feeling bloated, squishy, ugly, and bleh; I came home and washed my face to remove all the metephorical grime from the day. Makeup off and hair treated with oil, secured in a high ponytail with a sparkly teal hair tie; I proceeded to put on a face mask that made me identical to Shrek and RELAXED.
Some days you just can’t salvage, and although Monday wasn’t the worst of them it certainly wasn’t the best. I have a huge project I need to get done at work and it has turned me into a procrastinating sixteen-year old who is avoiding getting their research done, which is essentially 95% of this project. With yesterday gone and a new day and new possibilities upon me, I’ve decided it’s time for SUPER BETTER.
Super Better was the TedTalk my cousin brought to my attention, it essentially talks about the strength and health benefits in making life a game. I need Super Better right now as I see bad habits and bad attitudes lurking around every day and interaction. There is a website where you can formally sign up for a Super Better account, make allies, get real points etc, but I have a few of my own rules and point earning challenges I want to do.
Here are my Super Better game Goals/Challenges:
1. Finish “Solutions Project” by August 2, 2013
2. Save Money – Two Week Specific: DO NOT BUY FOOD/COFFEE AT WORK!!!
3. Book – Two Week Specific: Finish Chapter 15 / Get to Middle of Ch. 16
1. For every two “research” websites I read, I can read one fun articles
2. Every time I want to buy a treat/ go out to lunch, write down the price of the meal and then look up a cool restaurant café to go to on the road trip at the end of the week deposit the money I would have spent on the food into my Dream Fund.
3. Every chapter I finish I get one Guilt Free day off.
I have a lot more goals, point allocation, and game challenges I want to share. But these are the major ones for the next two weeks. When it comes to goal making its level of success is just as important of as the goal itself to prevent one from being discouraged. Breaking it down into two week spans makes it munchable, easy to digest and accomplish.
Sometimes I don’t like my life either, I’ve cried and said “I don’t know how to be happy” in the arms of Bowerbird –the person that brings me the most joy. And thankfully he understands things are more complicated than just having a few right elements and everything is peachy-keen…you have to work on it…and not run away from it. And not find false happiness in substances, true happiness comes from a pure state. And thats the last I’m going to say about that…
(an AIM conversation with a friend, my last tid bit of advice)
My sister and I talk about this often, the group of friend dynamic versus the having friends from different walks of life. Are a bush or a tree? Neither dynamic is right or wrong, it is just different ways of interacting with people and engaging with life. There are people who have the same group of friends they hang out with often, they go on vacation with them, plan group birthday parties, dinner table of 7 etc. But trees, they have friendships that tend to be navigated more independently of each other. With one trunk, that person at times brings friends together, and meets other people based off core (stronger) branches, but most of the friends are independent of each other. I had this discussion with my friend Jon a few weeks ago as we were driving over to an art show he invited me to at Warner Music Group. We became friends in a roundabout way, but he introduced me to another new friend Heather, who I ran into at the art show as she is a co-worker of Jon and the WMG show was sort of an “industry” thing (after having met at a party for Jon’s girlfriend) and invited her to wine tasting the following Monday with my co-workers.
He sort of saw the Bush vs. Tree thing like one was good and the other bad, I saw him more like a Bush but he sort of fought to be a Tree. I told him he was more like a tree with bushes at the end, like a Japanese tree. Well after the art show, Jon and I headed over to a pizza spot where we hung out with one of his branches, his branches that possessed a little bush at the top because everyone we were eating with knew each other.
Anyway the rest of that same weekend was spent hanging out with various branches of my own trunk. Cause yes I am a tree, and the whole meeting Heather through Jon that is just basically how I make more friends. I have a lot of friends (not insanely close but people whos company I enjoy), and sometimes none of them are available to hang out. Like having cable, there are a ton of channels with nothing on; but every so often and most of the time when there is something on it’s a really epic movie from the 80’s that makes me roll on the ground laughing and have an amazing time!
*this all happened in May, now into June I have met more people I would like to get to know better and have spent multiple weekends out and about till 3am. The plethora of stories and adventures I have to share, just need to commit to writing it down.