redefining wanderlust

a life blog by Bekka

Posts for LIFE UPDATE Category

Unfocused February

Bowerbird’s real name is Dan, Bowerbird is a nickname he picked up in his early twenties playing with bands. When I was first dating Dan, he asked not to be named so I started saying Bowerbird and find it fun to call him Bowerbird on the internet. But for this story I will call my fiancé by his real name.

It’s time for some real talk because at the end of January I was focused and ready to post multiple times a week, grow my YouTube channel, and take Blanket Fort Adventures to the next level! Now, February is almost over and I don’t know what happened to this month. As I was explaining to Dan, our expectations for the month weren’t just thrown out the window but were shoved down a t-shirt cannon and launched off the freeway going 60 miles per hour.

The day after my birthday, Dan and I had planned a fun day trip to Big Bear. Usually we like to start our adventures as early in the day as possible, but I had a last minute client project that I had to finish before we left. So we weren’t ready to head out the door until 11:00 am and just as we were about to drive away I noticed I hadn’t flossed. I had every intention of vlogging the day trip, so I ran back inside to quickly floss and hop in the car, that’s when I saw a 714 number appear on my phone. At the moment, I’m without 95% of my contacts in my phone so I figured it might be a cousin calling me to wish me a belated birthday. Instead, I heard the sad voice of my future sister-in-law, Dan’s father had passed away. My heart dropped and I handed the phone to Dan. We were with his family for the rest of the day. I can’t express enough how much I love and adore the family I will be marrying into. Right when Dan and I started dating his father had a terrible stroke that left his mind confused. It worsened over the years, but I’ll never forget he had a faint idea who I was during Christmas after meeting me at Thanksgiving.  I know he liked me and I’m really happy I was able to show him that we were engaged, even if he didn’t fully understand who I was.  I’ve tried to be here for Dan as much as possible and we are riding the waves of emotion the best way we know how.

This month we also had scheduled our floors to be redone. So my office and our bedroom has over flowed into the other parts of the house, leaving me to work from the kitchen table and have minor anxiety attacks realizing the amount of junk I possess. Basically, we have no homeostasis! And it’s been a rollercoaster of emotional anxieties. Now, I don’t want to first world problem myself into oblivion because we have immense blessings and are free from severe worries. I just did my “fake” taxes and discovered I have enough to pay the IRS, woot woot, first year of being a sole proprietor. So, even though our expectations were shredded like a beehive in the same radius of a honey badger, our life is still filled with love and support.

I also volunteered to take photos at the LA Marathon this month for Students Run LA, which was an incredibly moving experience, and was a completely new adventure to partake in. And this weekend I am helping out one of my best friends at her first bridal expo, she’s a wonderful bridal photographer who sadly will be in my wedding and not shooting it.  Planning the wedding, yeah that’s stressful.

Anyways, I have had no direction or focus this month. I feel more forgetful than usual and I’m just trying to keep my head above the proverbial water. Now, like I said I realize my issue are trivial and there are so many more terrible and important things going on in the world than my unfocused month or jumbled up expectations and loss of direction. But I felt I should share where I’m at, so I can lay a foundation for where I’m going – which is more frequent blog posts, youtube videos, and any other content you want to throw at me. Give me an idea and let’s roll with it. Life is an adventure, let’s explore. (( PG-13 style ))

One thing I have been doing consistently this month is my new Little Things series, I’d love if you would check it out and subscribe!

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The Story of Loulou Edie Reed – Dog Adoption

The story of Loulou Edie Reed is filled with suspense, drama, and lots of love. A Yorkshire terrier with a full name and mysterious background, she waltzed into my (our) life when the last thing on my mind was adopting a new dog. But like most of the pets my family has acquired, we don’t pick the time for a dog- the dog picks us.

On February 5th, 2015 I was working in my home office that faces out into the front yard. It’s not rare to see a stray cat wandering outside and using the brick wall that separates my house from the neighbors as a highway; so when I saw a small black body pass my window I assumed it was a black cat. It wasn’t until the animal waked away that I noticed it was a dog. Usually, I am the first one to jump into action when it comes to a stray dog; but on this day I had a meeting in North Hollywood with a potential client. In forty-five minutes I was supposed to jump on the freeway and charm a cosmetic company into hiring me as their social media manager. So, I decided to leave my interview clothing intact and to continue to prep for this client, leaving the dog to another Good Samaritan as the neighborhood is filled with retirees and stay at home moms.

Well, the universe and Lou had a different idea, because she came back to my yard after a five minute hiatus. Taking the hint, I threw on jeans and a ratty t-shirt and went to my front yard to find the dog. I called out for the puppy and found her hiding behind my car. She jumped into the flowerbed and army crawled all the way to me, making it very easy to pick her up and secure her in our dog runner. She was the friendliest dog I had caught since my baby Blondie who had come into my life 15 years prior and passed away 4 years ago. There was so much about this little dog that reminded me of Blondie, I swear she was our other dog incarnate, but I refused to get attached. We (my fiancé and I) were not looking for a dog.

I changed back into my interview clothes and drove to the client, who I also secured for 2015. When I returned home I figured out next steps; wash the dog, get a collar in order to control her when dropping her off at the pound tomorrow, put out a request for dog rescues on Facebook*, and contact my aunt to see if she would be open to adopting this new found dog. Since I have an older dog, Mystie, and we didn’t know what this stray might have, Lou slept outside with lots of blankets, food and water. She cried a little bit, but her temperament was always pleasant and sweet.

Stay Dog_ Loulou Edie Reed

The next day I took her to our local shelter, the place I knew any family who would be missing her would search, and found out she wasn’t chipped. The receptionist was a capital B. When we found out Lou wasn’t chipped I was ready to bring her home and set up a rescue situation, but the shelter said it was policy that she remain at the shelter for 5 days in order for the rightful owners to locate her. I felt so incredibly guilty and sad for letting this darling dog into the hands of the shelter and beat myself up for days. Since I work from home I visited her every day I could, twice a day, petting her through the cold bars. The pound was heartbreaking and I even tried to push the other jailed pups onto friends that were interested in Lou. My name was first on the adopt list from day one, but by day three of my morning and night devotion, Bowerbird and I decided to adopt Lou.

On the second to last day before I could break her out, I received a call from the pound informing me someone was claiming Lou was their dog, my heart dropped. I was excited if it really was their dog, but I found it odd it took so long for someone to come forward. I know if I lost Lou, I’d be all over every website and shelter; I’d likely get a vinyl banner made to hang across Main Street. Fortunately by the end of the day the shelter called and informed me the dog did not belong to those claiming her. They didn’t give me any specifics, but they do request evidence from those claiming a shelter dog to prove ownership. I was ecstatic and now my anxiety shot up fearing I’d have to face a confrontation with the false owner.

I couldn’t sleep that night, I was terrified I’d oversleep, miss my alarm and the other people would come and swoop up Lou. I was at the shelter right when it opened to sign the adoption papers and with a swipe of my credit card, Lou was mine (ours). We took her out of the jail cell and into the gated play area outside. I was so happy she was finally able to be in the sun.

Dog in a Birthday Hat

As we were playing with Lou in the shelter yard, a man was lingering by his car and watching us the entire time. Eventually, he asked the shelter worker if he could see the dog. I knew it was the “other family” my heart started racing and I pretended to be ignorant of the situation. The shelter worker said no, as I had just adopted the dog. The man then went into a long story about how his puppy had been stolen a year ago. When the shelter worker asked if the dog was chipped or had received shots, the man said no because the dog was too young. It was a tense twenty minutes, but the shelter worker was a strong advocate for me and eventually the man drove off. After playing with Lou for a solid hour, she had to go back to the shelter for one more night in order to get all her shots. The next day when it was finally time for her to come home with us, the receptionist left her file open on the desk and I could see notes on the person claiming it was their dog. I quickly snapped a photo of her file like Nancy Drew when the receptionist went to retrieve Lou. The notes said that Lou was too young to be the dog they were claiming had been stolen. They also didn’t have any medical records or photos of their dog. Since, the total cost to adopt Lou was around $160, it’s no wonder these people were trying to nab Lou for free. Apparently, Yorkshire terriers are premium dogs in the shelter world.

I believe that Lou ended up with the right people, those people being Bowerbird and I, because she had a lot of medical expenses post adoption that the sneaky people may not have invested in. She had caught kennel cough, had worms, and still needed to be spade. We were making weekly visits to the vet for about a month and I officially capped off the cost of this new pup around $400.

Loulou at Shelter

Lou was just a hardcore street dog that managed to survive as a stray. We still see her habits of from days on the street. She likes to sleep under things and in tight spaces, her favorite place to hang out is under the bed. When we would take her for walks, she’d always want to rest under cars. She also knew how to drink out of a water bottle. We suspect that she had been the dog of a homeless person. It makes me sad thinking that they might have lost her, but maybe she lost them. She is incredibly friendly and sweet. I’ve never seen her snap or growl at a person and I’ve only seen her show teeth to another dog once, because she had just been bullied by a large-breed puppy.

I named Lou after Lou Reed the first day I found her. I had just given her a bath and was thinking of names. At first I thought Nico, since I was going through a Velvet Underground phase but remembered my friend Nima’s dog was named Nico. Then I thought of Lou Reed, I called out to her with the name Lou and it seemed to fit. I had also been reading Edie at the time, about Warhol Superstar Edie Sedgwick. I thought Loulou Edie Reed has a delightful ring to it and that’s why my dog has a full name.

WOAH this is over 1,500 words! If you read to the end I commend you. As a bonus I’ve included a playlist to a few of my favorite Lou Reed and Velvet Underground songs. Enjoy!

Do you think the “other family” was actually Loulou’s owners or trying to pull a fast one?

First Night At Home

First night at home ♥

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Top 5 Moments of 2015

Now that all my Christmas cards have been sent out, I feel like I can share with you my top 5 moments from 2015. Since I included a little insert into the Christmas Card of Bowerbird and I’s favorite moments, I felt this moral obligation to send those out before I actually blogged about them.

It’s no surprise (to me) that most of my top moments have already been recorded on my blog or in a vlog. Memorable moments would be documented by a compulsive over-sharer. And that reminds me of something my niece said when we took her to the American Girl Doll Store, while we sat down in the café for our very fancy lunch there were conversation cards on the table. One of the cards asked, “what’s your favorite childhood memory?” and she said, “It’s happening right now.” I guess my blog posts are a metaphorical conversation card recording my favorite memories as they happen.

In no particular order:

1) Going to Austin for SXSW!
A three / four post series, going to Austin was really spontaneous. Bowerbird was playing a SXSW showcase plus Pow Wow had collaborated with SXSW for an awesome mural project. Itching to get out of state and take advantage of both great events, I pulled the trigger and bought a Jet Blue ticket. I’ll be paying off the trip for a year or more, but now have a lifetime of memories. Check out the posts, here/day one, here/ day two, here/day three pt.1, and here/ day three pt. 2…oh and Pow Wow here.

Top 5 Moments of 2015 - SXSW

2) Spending our anniversary in Laguna Beach and being invited to press night of Pageant of the Masters.
In June I was sent an invite to attend the press night of Pageant of the Masters and RSVP’d yes. My insecurities rang out wondering why me? But I silenced those and took advantage of the exclusive night, getting a taste of influencer perks. Bowerbird was my ‘assistant’ and actually really did help me in holding my camera and taking notes while we toward the back stage area. A few of my favorite photos from the entire year are in that post, check it out here.
Since the press night was the same day as our anniversary, we decided to be opportunistic and book a room in Laguna to enjoy a beautiful (gloomy) few days in South Orange County.

3) Adopting Loulou Edie Reed, our Yorkie mutt.
Named after Lou Reed and Edie Sedgewick our little hipster mutt has flooded our life with so much joy. Waking up to her playful smile and picture perfect paws, we both get a serious case of cute aggression in the presence of Lou. I had every intention of writing her origin story when she was first adopted but never got around to it. This year for her first birthday with us, I’ll finally post about the saga that is Loulou Edie Reed – the dog with a full name.

Top 5 Moments of 2015


4) Climbing Mt. Ellinor in the Olympic National Forest, it has an elevation of 5,951 ft.
This hike kicked out ass! Bowerbird and I were sore for days post hike but it was incredibly fulfilling. Not only were the views gazing down on the Olympics breathtaking, but the incline and rocky terrain really tested my stamina. Both Bowerbird and my friend Jalissa, were telling me we could turn around at any time but I pushed forward. Looking back on the year I see 2015 was all about not letting myself down. And in the midst of that difficult trail, not wanting to let myself down is what pushed me forward. Just keep putting one foot in front of the other! I haven’t posted about the trail yet, but when I do it will be linked here.

5) Getting engaged at Hearst Castle!
Well duh!! I had to add my new relationship status to the list of favorite moments from 2015. Before meeting Bowerbird I was becoming more comfortable with the idea I’d settle into my adult life with a herd of bunnies in a cottage somewhere. I still want that cottage, but maybe only one bunny. Ironically, my mother gave me a handful of dating books only a week or so before Bowerbird asked me out. I couldn’t ask for a better partner in crime to navigate the game of life. Read all about our engagement here.

Engaged at Hearst Castle

Here’s to more opportunities to create epic and wonderful memories in 2016!

love and light signature

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I’ve been consistently uploading to YouTube for a year now. I had dabbled in it before, but this was the year I really wanted to make it an active hobby in my life. But, I never committed to a regular upload schedule either. So, I’d periodically throw up a vlog or two and then get distracted by life. So, this month I decided to join in a festive YouTube activity called Vlogmas, where a person vlogs or records a video diary every day till Christmas. It’s a demanding, time-consuming project that I felt inspired to participate in. Surprisingly, I learned a lot about myself while doing it and I wanted to share my lessons with you.


My first vlogmas video was a double whammy of eye-opening revelations, the first being the audio comma. I can’t explain the sheer embarrassment one feels when editing themselves, but imagine it’s like salt to a wound when you’re editing “likes”, “you knows”, and “uhs”. I cringed hearing myself sound like a teenage girl. I noticed I’d use the above phrases as breaks between thoughts, instead of just being silent. Giving my voice a break, a pause. Those words are my audio commas, paragraphs, and triple periods.  While I continued to vlog throughout the month I allowed myself to pause between thoughts. Embrace the silence between one idea and the other. Not only was this easier for editing later, but I felt more eloquent and confident with my speech pattern.


The second lesson I learned after vlogmas day one was, I’m pretty confident. The first day I vlogged, I didn’t do my hair or makeup and was in workout clothes all day. It was a go day, where I basically went from bed to my home office and never took a break in between. When I went to edit the video at night, I looked at my crazy hair and acne scarred face with tinge of disgust, but mostly a heart full of forgiveness. You have to understand, growing up I had a lot of negative self-talk and self-hatred for my looks. So, being able to not only see myself disheveled but then having the confidence to share it with the internet, shows how far I’ve come as a person. I know I’m more than my appearance. Although, doing Vlogmas gave me a reason to dress up and play with my makeup. I had fun getting ready for the day! Since I knew I’d be recording myself and my appearance would be shared, it forced me to not look like the work from home cliché. I want to continue dressing up and having fun with my style, so I have another idea in the works to hold myself accountable…more on that later. But whether I’m a mess or polished to a T, I’m awesome and I love me!


The beauty about vlogging, is you’re the editor of your own reality show. We aren’t all Miss Congeniality 100% of the time and where reality stars get painted as villains because of a producer’s desire to get ratings; I can remove the scene where my ‘bitch’ came out. In Vlogmas Day 3; Bowerbird and I went down to San Diego. We had an amazing time and the ‘scene’ I’m referencing was no more than a minute long and I had to remind Bowerbird of it the next day when I apologized. The scene: I had put my camera on record as we were in front of a hotel we had stayed at previously. Bowerbird had remarked how he would love to get breakfast at this restaurant we went to the last time we were in San Diego and I flippantly replied, “yeah, but we’re not spending the night here.” Even typing it I’m ashamed of myself. I wasn’t even listening to him because I was more focused on what I wanted to say, what I wanted to record. When I saw that clip my heart sank, it was a harsh mirror being held up to my character flaw. When Bowerbird came home from work that night I apologized and since then have made more of an effort to actually listen to him.


NEWS FLASH, most days are boring. Even during the most festive and fun time of year, the day to day is still the day to day. I struggled from Vlogmas Day 13 to Day 18 to find anything interesting about my day; but I vlogged and I did my best. It made me appreciate the little things, like a coffee run on a beautiful day or getting to watch the Walking Dead with Bowerbird.  Although not every day is interesting, there is something interesting about your day; especially if paired with the right music. I also went through an emotional rollercoaster this month. I found out an acquaintance from my past had passed away, someone I was rooting for as I followed him on social media. And Bowerbird received some difficult news, that I knew couldn’t make better. With both incidents the world just turned gray, but I tried to find the sparkle in our day anyways. Because as long as there is air in my lungs and the opportunity to find joy, I’ll try to find the sparkle.


I’m not a quitter, but it can take me FOREVER to finish something. I don’t walk away until I know something is done/over. The difficulty of a project or activity or career path never scares me, because I have this sense it will all happen in due time. As long as I keep at it. This is wonderfully optimistic, but completely inefficient. I have been doing the same 8-week fitness app for 12 months. It’s improved my stamina, I can now jog for 20 minutes, but I haven’t completed it yet. I don’t have enough appendages on me to count the amount of ‘pending’ projects I have to post/edit/create. So, when I did Vlogmas and completed it in a timely manner – that’s a huge win for me. Admittedly, I did get behind there for a while, because I still have a job and I got sick; but I did it and it’s all done. My dedication to Vlogmas and making it a priority helped me to realize how I could use my time. It showed me I’m capable of sticking to a more regimented schedule and I won’t always let myself down when it comes to my own projects. I’m an awesome employee because I have someone to answer to, when I answer to myself I let myself down. Here’s to 2016 being different and treating myself more like a boss!

I can’t promise I’ll do Vlogmas next year, but I’d really like too. Plus, since I was posting consistently I was actually receiving comments and had fun replying back. My goal was to get 100 subscribers by the new year. I don’t know how that will happen, but hopefully I’ll have 100 by the end of January.

Who is your favorite YouTuber that did Vlogmas?

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Agenda, Artichokes, and Adventures!

hello friends artichokes, agenda, and adventures

Hello Friends, 

Tonight, I steamed artichokes for the first time and purchased a lovely new agenda at Paper Source. The agenda came before the artichokes and both were an adventure to acquire. I raced to Paper Source after work, barely making it to the store before it closed, and it took 20 minutes just to figure out how I would steam the artichokes. As I type this there are pots on every surface of my kitchen. But I needed to accomplish both missions tonight. Not wanting the artichokes to go bad as we had purchased them on Sunday at a cool farm north of Monterey, they had to be cooked. And the agenda was necessary to help keep me riding this inspiration wave.  

Currently, I’m feeling very inspired and motivated to get more on top of my life. My time management and organization skills are not as type-A as I’d like them to be; but suddenly I’ve been feeling this sense of clarity, like being able to see the pathways to how I’ll get everything I want to do accomplished. Since returning from the PNW road trip, Bowerbird and I have been waking up when our alarm goes off and not hitting snooze. We linger in bed and play with Loulou for about 15 minutes before actually moving out from under the covers, but none the less we are awake. I have this laser focus when it comes to my freelance work, that I think was triggered by the fact I HAD to complete certain projects before the trip. I’m trying to develop a healthy relationship with my freelance lifestyle, stepping away from work by a certain time and allowing time for my personal projects during “non-office” hours. Stepping away from my computer at a reasonable time and removing my eyes from screens for at least an hour before bed. I’m hoping I’ll be able to hold on to all this focus and motivation, devote more time to consistent content creation for personal projects.  

I have so many adventures and thoughts to share. I’m an oversharer. I’ve accepted myself for my oversharing needs. So the agenda is here to help me organize the stories I’ll be publishing on this blog, videos I’ll upload to YouTube, and articles I want to submit to other websites. I’ve had so many wonderful friends send me writing leads, but I haven’t followed up because I’ve felt too disorganized and incapable of finding the time to devote to another outlet. But as the sun sets and rises, tomorrow is a new day to do something different – you just have to do it.  

I was wondering if you had any thoughts on how I should publish content. Now that I’ve gone on my second road trip, how do I organize stories from #ontheroad1014 and #ontheroad1015? Should I post #ontheroad1014 stories on Tuesdays and #ontheroad1015 stories on Thursdays? All other days can be a mixture of content; from a story on me throwing away my old car seat covers or an interview with another creative person. Does it matter? I don’t want to get hung up on perfection. But if you have any thoughts on how stories should be posted, feel free to leave a comment. 

I’m off to begin my bedtime routine, which I’m loving, and need to stop looking at screens. Thank you for reading my letter to you guys and I’ll be writing about that awesome artichoke farm tomorrow, so come back Friday for the post. Hopefully, we can get into a routine together, even though I’m really bad at routines. Although when I find the groove of a routine, I really like it there. 

blanket fort adventures

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A Love Story At The Castle In The Sky – Hearst Castle

On top of San Siemon rests the most gorgeous home in the world, Hearst Castle. As art and words inspire my life, Hearst Castle is like two passions coming together in an architectural dream. I’ve been in love with this castle in the sky since I was a child and visited it with my mom and sister. I took Bowerbird to it for the first time 2 and half years ago. We had been dating for 9 months and wanted a romantic Monterey getaway, so Hearst was on the way. Now we are on our third road trip, this time dedicated to the Pacific North West, and stopped at Hearst yesterday. If I’m going on the 1, you know I’m stopping at my favorite place, it’s better than Disneyland!! Now this dream place is deeply intertwined into my own dreamy romance, as Bowerbird proposed to me on top of a high balcony peak overlooking the ocean.

When we first were dropped off at the top of the hill it started to rain, Bowerbird was majorly bummed out as the little drops of water came sprinkling down a top of our head. We went on our tour of the upstairs suites where Hearst has a library that would make Bell blush. Yes, I’m referencing that amazing scene in Beauty and the Beast where the Beast give bell the most beautiful library in animated history. But once the tour was over, the sky was bright blue and sun shining!  It wasn’t very busy yesterday and I was able to take dozens of pictures with no other tourist in site. We explored the side of one of the guest cottages and I could feel Bowerbird’s energy shift. He was getting anxious and looking around us trying to find the perfect spot. Every time he tried to get extra romantic it seemed another tourist popped up, like they were all swarming to this side of the property at once.We kept climbing stairs to another empty spot and then another group of tourist came up. This is what led us to the very highest point on the side of one of the Hearst cottages. It was an area that one would have to make an extra effort to find and Bowerbird was making a very private romantic effort.

He pulled me in tight and remarked how this had been the best three years of his life. Then as he placed his hand in his pocket and pulled out my *Bachan’s ring, he got on one knee and asked me to marry him. I said “of course,” because I’ve known Bowerbird is the man I would marry after only three months of dating. After our first date, I thought he could be the one. Our love story has always been about timing and his timing couldn’t be more perfect.

I then overheard a tour guide explaining how couples get engaged. As we were on the balcony of the cottage, a tour group was inside exploring one of the rooms and as they passed by on the other side of a screen door – they clapped and said congratulations.

Now we’re off to San Fransico today and I begin my first full day as an engaged woman! I couldn’t be happier as we go on to our next adventure in our life together.

Hearst Castle Engagement

Hearst Castle Engagement

Engagement at Hearst Castle

Stairway to heaven!

Bowerbird and I are on a road trip across the Pacific North West, follow our adventure on instagram or twitter!  #ontheroad1015

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all the things part one

How cute is this little unicorn friend? I spotted the figurine in an Atlanta basement antique shop. There is some seriously sweet antique shopping across this country.

Anyways… ‘all the things’ is a list of all the things I want or want to do. A simple way of me expressing my desires because I suffer from OS, over-share. Also, I’ve been freaking out lately feeling like I can’t measure up to my own standards of a filled life. Seriously crying or be extremely physically tense and uncomfortable at the fact I didn’t get X, Y, & Z done. Then in a freeing moment of clarity I realized, I expect WAY too much of myself on a daily basis. I just really enjoy living and doing, which is awesome, but I need to be more honest with myself and realize I can’t physically do it all.

It’s Saturday and I have a free night to do whatever my little heart desires, so let me share with you what those desires are.

*Sunday update, this is what I did get done.

  1. Paint my nails
  2. Start a painting  continued a painting from 4 years ago! 
  3. Read a magazine
  4. Watch Breakfast at Tiffanys  I watched more Mad Men, does that count? Going to watch Nightcrawler.
  5. Write about my road trip in my journal
  6. Write a dozen or so blog posts: Vinyl Collection, Real Talk Letting Go, Carry Me Ohio, Haunted West Virginia, Book Review, June Mixtape.
  7. Do laundry
  8. Clean my office
  9. Write a letter and fix a damaged letter  I wrote a letter, but it needs to be rewritten, too much champagne. 
  10. Go grocery shopping
  11. Make meatloaf (cajun meatloaf)  Made a pasta bake instead, needed to use up some veggie sausage. 
  12. Wash my dog
  13. Doodle
  14. Read some links from my “Read Later” bookmarks
  15. Record a May Favorites Video
  16. Clean out my closet.

and that’s all I can think of right now… 


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September Reflections

The month has been filled with some up and downs. But I choose to look at the ups, like quitting my job and heading out on my road trip in 3 days. Wow it’s 3 days away that is insane to me. I finally finished editing my young adult novel, and it just needs to go through on final read through before being sent to beta readers. Oh and seeing Katy Perry in the pit! Dream come true, as she was less than 5 feet away from me. On her last song Firework, I swear she finally saw me. Her eyes piercing my soul of course. I will post photos from that night at some point, but I’ve been working nearly non-stop trying to not burn out. It’s really been an interesting month filled with tears of joy and pain, but I’m ready to start a new chapter of my life because all I can do is learn, grow, and be me!

new chapters


life is about risk for a dream

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I’m a writer…

We reject and desire labels all the same. Placing them on ourselves like a Name Tag to the universe, Hello I’m___. But if someone else comes at us with a label, well damn them for trying to stick something on our backs with out us knowing. Labels are most used in the work force, when trying to determine what our career is. It’s a very nice social safety net if you have a good label. I’ve been dealing with, am I trying to be a “blogger” or a “writer”. Now a few existential crises later, I have committed and come to the fact, I am a writer.

I either carry paper or a moleskin notebook with me everywhere I go. I’m not as much a people watcher, as I am an observer. I observe everything, like a mental photographer. But my pictures extend past the visual; into scents, textures, sounds, anything that inspire a story in my mind.

One day as I was driving home I saw a mattress propped up on the side of tree outside of an apartment building… this is the vignette which came from it.

We came across this queen mattress, abandoned in the back alley of a converted industrial building that  was now overpriced art studios. Smelling of piss, body odor, and stale sex; we devised a plan to sanitize and get it back to the manor. We’d been sleeping on a pile of donated blankets and worn in sleeping bags, using tacky winter coats as cushioning from the hard wood floor.

There’s a kid we knew, about 16, who’d be our taxi for a case of beer and a few joints. Calling him up, about an hour later, we’d secured our new bed to the roof of his 94 Honda Civic. Most likely a hand-me-down car from an older brother; I always wondered if his upper middle class parents would ever cut him off.

We pulled up to our place and dragged it to the yard, the dead grass causing me to sneeze and legs to itch. We stopped by the 99 cent store to pick up 5 gallons of bleach. Pouring the solution onto the dingy satin, the silk flower pattern began to fade.

It took a whole day in the sun to dry. We smoked cigarettes and talked of the state of our world, various characters joining us periodically to stare at the drying queen.

The fumes burned my lungs as I held it close, hands cracked after dragging it up the stairs into our room, throwing our previous bedding on top. On humid days, our room transforms into a YMCA pool locker room.

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Getting Frute at WeHo Pavilions

Let me just say I had one of the best experiences at the WeHo Pavilions on Santa Monica today. Filled with laughter and good vibes, I literally and figuratively saw rainbows as I left.  A month ago I received a Klout perk for Vita Frute Cocktails by Veev Sprits. Veev apparently is an Acai based spirit, and the cocktails are “The first line of organic and all-natural ready-to-drink cocktails. Just shake, pour over ice and enjoy! “.

My translation, Yay, organic alcohol with fewer calories so if you are keen on putting your liver through the ringer at least you know it won’t be affected by pesticides.  Clearly the marketing behind the alcohol isn’t for me, as I don’t care about any of that. I’m a solid taste based person, but then I never say no to a good Klout Perk. Although I did say no to the McDonalds Chicken Nuggets, I just didn’t need 20 nuggets for free, but I digress.

The perk was $25 off Vita Frute, which equates to 2 bottles free (basically), but it’s only available at Vons/Pavilions. After receiving this coupon, I noticed all the Vons or Pavilions around me are incredibly inconvenient to get to. The coupon expires Monday, so I was intending on getting my free booze this weekend. And then suddenly like a beautiful Unicorn, there is a Pavilions right next to work event I went to.

After the work thing I go into Pavilions, head straight for the spirits and with a metaphorical glowing halo light; there are only two bottles left. The two flavors I wanted, Cosmopolitan and Lemonade. These were also on sale for $7.20, previously $17.99. No wonder it’s practically sold out. Anyways I mosey to the cash register, a short line, and go to place that item divider bar thing between my bottles and the woman in front of me when I hear her say “Oh no”  or  “mmm hmm” –please reference video.

Taken back, I immediately pull my hand away thinking I have pissed this person off. I mean its West Hollywood, just earlier I saw a woman in a thong and see-through lace skirt. Sometimes a few marbles are loose. She then turns to me, with a sweet as pie smile along with incredibly embarrassed expression and said, “Oh sweetie, I’m on the phone”. The woman, cashier, and I all burst out into boisterous laughter.

The friendly cashier, who was still giggling along with me over what just happened, wrung up by two bottles of Vita Frute that were at a discount. When I gave him the coupon for $25, well the bottles only wrung up for $15. Needless to say, it confused the system. He had to find a manager to discuss further steps.  Now it’s a Friday night, after work, and I have become “that person”. Feeling terrible that due to my coupon, the cashier has abandoned the line; I turn to the man behind me and make a light joke and apologize.  He tells me not to worry about it, and he had zoned out for a minute completely forgetting he was in a grocery store.

Just then the cashier came back saying they would need to keep the coupon, but manually could do the discount. I know I was technically losing $10 on the coupon, since the bottles were only $15. But at the same time I was supposed to receive two complimentary bottles, and two complimentary bottles I was getting.  The man that was standing behind me asked about the alcohol I was buying, and I explained it was an Acai Sprit Organic New Alcohol. He seemed interested, and maybe he will try it in the future.

Anyways, I left that Pavilions filled with laughter and good vibes. The bagger even complimented my dress! Seriously rainbows people, rainbows…

Read about the Berry Ginger Cosmopolitan Cocktail I made with Vita Frute



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